Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis MLC - standing by my man

Thank you Golfgirl & CW

Golf - looks like you are doing really good....I can't wait to be happy again, it's been a hard year. Working on it

I know that it will come, one step at the time. I would still prefer to be married then to be single...but we do what we have to. Who knows what the future will bring.

CW - That H took D for a trip was a good start, now I hope that he will keep it up. And I don't mean just fun trips, but to actually be involved in her day-to-day life. Recently he started picking her up from work and driving her home, so far he only did it for one week, so we will see how long that will last. I don't know when he is leaving again to visit OW, but I'm sure that it will be soon, so that chore will revert back to me I guess while he is gone.

After the initial frenzy of e-mails and H trying to get back control after I went dark, it all stopped. He doesn't contact me much, almost no emails, business or otherwise.

That counseling that he had scheduled is day after tomorrow.

MIla,

I've lost track. What is the status of the counseling appointment?

GAG

Hey GAG

When H asked to go and see a counselor to "communicate better" (because I went dark) I stalled it for couple of weeks and told him that I don't have the time to go until this week. So he made the appointment for this Wednesday. I think that I'm detached enough to go there and not to fall to pieces....

Got a call from OW's H, they went to their first mediation session with lawyers. She still seems to be decided that this is what she wants, but apparently she doesn't look happy and her depression is even obvious to her kids.

Mila

It doesn't sound as if their fantasy world is very happy at the moment. It must be hell two people trying to get through the tunnel together.......

OW sounds as if she is in a teerrible state and on automatic pilot for divorce.

Keep staying strong there are very dark clouds looming over paradise!

I agree with Libby, Mila..

Hang in there! You are doing an awesome job!

((hugs))

Thank you Libby & DG

Yes both of them are in MLC...that can't be good. OW apparently said to the lawyer "How can I stay married when I'm in love with someone else"

Whatever...it's their drama now

Going to cut grass now, didn't have time on the weekend...don't like doing that chore

Had to call H about business and at the end of the conversation he said "So did D talked to you about our trip?" I said "not much". He said she didn't tell you any details of what we did? Did she tell you about the bear?....and he goes on excitedly to tell me the story. Again I was cool and didn't ask any questions or in any way encouraged him to continue. If I encouraged him he would go on and on. I just said, no D didn't tell me, I guess she doesn't feel comfortable talking to me about the time you had together. He said "I guess". I finished the call.

BTW D did tell me some parts of the trip including that they missed horseback riding on the day they arrived, because "dad got lost getting there". (His sense of orientation has really gone down the hill in the past few years...I've read somewhere that it happens due to hormonal changes as men age)

I'm surprised that he felt the need to talk to me about the wonderful time that they had without me. It wasn't like he was trying to rub it in in a mean way, it was more like he wanted to share it with me and wanted my approval that he did a good job organizing that.

And BTW he forgot about the counseling appointment that he'd made for tomorrow. He wanted to schedule a business meeting with me so I had to tell him. He just forgot....what else is new

Mila,

Just stopping by to wish you luck at the C session today. It will at the very least be interesting finding out what your H is trying to accomplish with this. It's very curious as you seem to communicate about business very well with him???

Here's sending you an extra dose of PMA for today.

Hey, Mila, I've been somewhere else for a few days so I haven't been reading your thread.

My H's OW is also in MLC IMHO - then again, she may just be eternally stuck as a teenager, I didn't know her before. It makes you wonder how this works, if one stays stuck or in it longer than the other, or if they feed each other.

You're doing well with your H. It does sound like things are already exploding with their world... but don't be surprised when there is a resurgence after she D's. I just read an article where it said that D brings about a surge of PEA, just like an A does. No wonder sometimes people in the courtroom decide to back out and not go through with it.

Thanks SA & M&H - I have to go to the C soon. Getting mentally ready....

This is what I'm repeating to myself

Listen, listen & listen
Validate, validate & validate
Don't blame
Don't make him feel guilty
Don't inserts your famous sarcastic one-liners
Don't cry
Don't try to solve R
Don't let him suck you in
Don't reason...it's a no win

I'm sure there is more...but If I manage those I'll be happy with myself.

Here we go