Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives V1olin's new life without wife

Thanks for listening guys. She responded to that text, by the way.

From her,

"I understand. I don't want to talk about it over texting, but I do not regret our family."


I responded,

"there is nothing to talk about. Everything that I cared about was erased today. I love my kids too but my family is gone. goodbye."

it's just incomprehensible how they can destroy their family and forever change the course of their children's lives and cause such complete devastation--and then think they ought to chat about volleyball.

I'm so sorry you're here, v1.

V1, the best thing you can do right now at this minute is go dark. You are in an emotional state and are not in a place to take her call or respond to her texts.

Take a few days for yourself.

v1olin

I agree with Gnosis. You are understandably very emotional and do NOT need to be communicating with her right now. She said she didn't want to talk about it by text...meaning she wanted to have a conversation about it with you.

Please take the wisdom Gnosis gave you.

Don't worry, she has not called and I don't think she will. It is much easier for her to keep her mouth quiet and that is what she will do. I don't plan on talking to her for a week atleast.

Hang in there man and take care of yourself and the kids!

Definately. Not over text, phone, e-mail. Straight face to face and after some time has passed for BOTH of you to have processed everything on your own.

V1, you know, I sat there this morning having my coffee, and it was raining, chilly and just gloomy. The very same conditions that were in place 1 year ago tomorrow when our divorce went through. I have been going back and forth for a month on how to handle the day. And in doing so, created a tension with (x)W that was completely unneccessary.

Why?

Because this morning it hit me. Tomorrow is tomorrow. It hasn't happened yet. Today is all I need to concern myself with, for what I do today, is what determines how tomorrow may start, but not how it will end.

As for the significance of the day, tomorrow, well, much like my realization above, tomorrow is not a day of doom and gloom for what happened a year ago. Yet it is a day of victory for what has transpired since that day.

For you, for now, take advantage of every free moment you get for yourself. And, enjoy every moment you have with your kids. Live in today. Tmorrow has not happened yet, and yesterday is done.

V1 - just caught up on your last couple of days, and just wanted to lend some moral support. Hang in there, there's nothing to do now except take care of yourself and your kids. Hold on to yourself, that's it, take it moment by moment. Find some things that will occupy your attention.

Yeah, I am at work right now and it is a new location for me. I am back to being the head of the shop and I like that. I take in all the work from the customer and I enjoy talking shop with the customer. The shop that I was part of for the last year I had no contact with customers. I think I could do very well here. There is also a beauty school next door with lots of ladies- maybe later on that! Thanks for the support!

Still no contact from the ex. No suprise there! In the last year she has contacted me only a couple times for something other than the kids. I am conflicted with wether or not to go super dark.