Your right Libby, It is so so hard, but you are so strong. You know it is going to be a hard time, but you are acknowledging it and I believe this will allow you to detach from the drama. You are the sane one... he is just running around looking for happiness like a headless chicken.
Enjoy your weekend with your D. These are important times for her and she will remember you were there for her when she needed you.
H text me this morning to apologise for something ow had put in the mail to me. H said it was inapropriate and he was very sorry.
On Thursday he took his car tax form unopened back to where he lives with OW. Unknown to him OW opened it and found my car tax in there as well as H as both the cars are in H name.
Subsequently OW scrawled all over the form in big red writing 'pay your own fukc**g car tax' and then posted it back to me via the mail. I rang H before I received it and said it would be nice to know what I was expecting. True to form he didn't answer the telephone as he is now on holiday with OW. H left a message on my phone in reply. He sounded tearful, depressed and at the end of his tether. He said he didn't know why she had done it, couldn't believe it and didn't understand nor did H know fully what had been written but OW had apologised to him!
ApParently she lost her dad a few days ago and is very emotional and this is totally out of character........ Well it looks as if OW is opening H mail. I have never done that even when I knew it was car tax etc.
I haven't retalited as I will continue to give her the rope to hang herself. Normally H would have got a blasting so this is 180 for me and it feels good because I have not done what he thinks I will do.
How do I handle this when he visits the children and raises the question?
Libby, Her father's passing was no excuse for rude/crude behavior. She was pissed that your car tax form was included in w/his and the fact that both are still in his name. Can I assume that she does not have the authority to open your h's mail? If not, that's tampering with mail and you will need to make sure to keep a copy of what she's done to the form as evidence, if there ever comes a time that you need to pull it out.
As for him and questions, continue being the person you are. If he wants to talk about it, listen and then advise him that the document was legal document for your state that she had scribbled on. Someone is now going to have to explain to the DMV as to why your form is a mess. I think he should be the one to take care of it since it's his nut case that did it.
Time is on your side and giving her plenty of rope will surely hang her.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Libby - I couldn't believe that OW did to you. No class whatsoever. Also made me think that she must feel very threatened by you. Your H must have been very embarrassed by her behavior...Wow
Don't retaliate, take the hi road. I think that OW is doing a pretty good job on her own in destroying her R with your H.
Hang in there
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
You are right about her father. I think H had to find any reason for her behaviour, although he did say it was no excuse.....I have the paper safely stored away. It is also a government paper reminding me to pay the tax and if you couldn't do it on line I would have to take it to the post office with that written on it.
Mila
H was gutted and totally embarrased by her behaviour and that it was out of character! Yea right....... Interesting to note that OW wrote the envelope to 'mrs' so she acknowledges me as his wife!
What
I think you are right the show may get interesting but I will stay well out of it.
One question for everyone. When the OW starts doing things against the LBW does the H verbally support the wife or keep quiet?
One question for everyone. When the OW starts doing things against the LBW does the H verbally support the wife or keep quiet?
In my case, I do not think my H would actually speak up for me, BUT I do know he would feel it. So, over time he would stop listening to OW's opinions of me. Does this make sense? I believe this b/c it happened many years ago with his mother. She was all sweet and kind to my face but would fill H with horrible ideas about me. Like...I was a golddigger. (BTW at the time, I had more $, more assets, less debt than H). He listened to her and didn't defend me only to avoid the conflict with her. But he didn't HEAR her.
Is your H a conflict-avoider?
BTW I would thank him for giving you the heads-up! It's too bad she's such a looney tune!
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
