Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Cause for alarm?

OfficerInNeed,

If she is listening closely to these shady folks, I can't even say that you have your work cut out for you. If that is her main source of influence you have alot of pain ahead.

I think you're overanalyzing things again.

Point is. Do you want to do it or not? If you're going to do it, do it for the right reasons. You can't control what she's going to do with the insurance if you put her with you. If you're uncomfortable with doing so, then don't do it.

My W said the same thing when all this stuff happened. She was going to get some "work" done, go to the gym to start getting a great body, etc. How much of it has she done? zilch.

Not saying your W is going to do the same, but sometimes they say and do things that just pop in their heads. Doesn't necessarily mean they'll follow through on it.

I want to add her because she is my W, I offered to add her 2 months ago and she declined saying she has her own insurance. I am not making the commitment unless she makes a commitment to work on our marriage. When she wants to start being/acting like my W I will treat her as my W and put her on the insurance. How I a propose this to her?

In my situation I added mine because it cost me no different than adding all of my kids. She has benefitted from the medical insurance too.

The insurance shouldn't be used as a bargaining chip. Isn't going to work. Do you honestly think she's going to say that she wants to work on the marriage because of the insurance?

If you offer her the insurance you need to do it with no strings attached. Or you can't say what procedures she can or can't get. That goes back to you being controlling.

I agree that insurance should not be used as a bargaining chip for the marriage.

I do find it upsetting though that she can ask you in a clear fashion about health insurance but most other times she only can make noises and faces when communicating with you.

Keep in mind this is NY state and the laws are very different here than anywhere else in the country when it comes to legal separation and divorce. While it is an unfortunate thing to have to consider you putting her on your plan now certainly could put you in a position to have to pay her health insurance should you separate or divorce as you willingly put her on your plan while married. Since your insurance is free through your employer it might be less of a consideration I guess.

While I am sure this is not the best course of action at this point I might consider asking her why she is able to communicate with you for the insurance but most other times she chooses not to barely acknowledge you. I might also consider telling her that your insurance has great C'ing coverage and you plan to go as you have some big decision to make about your life.

Your W has a very easy escape route available to her (her dad's house) and the means to provide for herself financially.

I agree not to use the insurance as a bargaining chip but I am not sure I would be so quick to put her on the insurance. I am not sure really.

Can't tell you how many times I've heard of the departing wife getting breast implants, paid by the husband, before she splits.

LIKE that idea!!!

Puppy

Oh sh!#T my wife just had her lipo done like 40 days ago. But that's ok, if she leaves me, she will remember me as the person who made her feel happy...
I'm typing this message using her therapeutic massager computer right now. She's happy and that's important. That's called unconditional love.

OIN read "The 5 Languages of Love" by Gary Chapman. Unconditional love, very important. Put her on your insurance. You have to express your feeling, who you are and you will look attractive if you express it with love. I got to go!

Are you being facetious? Or serious?

Puppy