Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers What does this mean?- the WH's regrets?

Yep, to get back to sleep again, back to focusing on living in the now and watching Cesar!

I also liked that stuff about detachment. Obviously I am not fully detached either to be so emotionally worked up about this stupid girl.

Gatsby, just reading up... sorry for missing out on the past few weeks! So is H with her or you're just assuming from FB pictures? I am sorry you are going through this and had to find the ugly pictures of the ugly girl. If she is with him, just wish her luck! I always say Bless the woman who would fall in love with a WAS, especially one who abandonded their child even before birth and giving his child a shot of having a family. When my parents split, after 31 years, my mom used to say i should send her a card that reads good luck... and that had she known she wouldve packed his bags and sent them to her. Sorry just meant to make you laugh.

Dont forget their are women out there who will love to hang all over your H now that he is single, w/o intentions of wanting to be with him, but just because. Especially that she is posting them on FB. Some people like top start trouble! for whatever reason... Misery likes company! tell her to get a life!

So what's with Cesar?!?! I have a dog who needs doggie training before the baby comes! Wish Cesar would come to my house!

Wishing you well... )))Huge Hugs(((

Hey BD!

I don't think he's with her. I think your second paragraph about certain women wanting to hang around him because he's single is exactly what it is. He's a very charismatic guy and is very attractive. We knew that certain girls had crushes on him, and she was one. But we laughed at it. Or I thought we did.

I agree about the "bless the woman" part-- she's bagging a loser if she gets with WH right now!

So, Cesar.

The Dog Whisperer, for me, has nothing to do with dogs. I don't even have a dog and never have had one. What he is all about is state of mind. He embraces a lot of Buddhist philosophy and spreads it as he works with people. The "living in the now" thing I got from his show. Dogs live in the present. They don't worry about the future or dream about the past. The best way for humans to lead dogs is to live in the now themselves.

He also talks a lot about calm assertive energy. This energy is the best type to have in life. He helps people practice that by relaxing tension (physically and mentally) while sticking to boundaries. The thing is, you can't hide yourself from a dog! The dog WILL pick up on your weakness. So it's the best way to practice calm assertive energy.

I also think it's totally applicable to LBS sitches!

So that's what I watch it for. To help me remember to keep a good state of mind. Thanks for asking, I love talking about Cesar!

I'm so grateful for my job.

Yesterday was the last day with students, and today was a day all the staff said good things about each other. It was really nice. I got the "calm under pressure" award for being the calmest pregnant lady EVER. (That's what the certificate said!) I guess I hid the tears in the bathroom pretty well, heh heh.

It really helped me forget all this crap from last night with WH.

I've actually been really. . . thinking that I'm getting tired of 'waiting' for him. I know it hasn't been too long, but I'm getting tired. I know however long I want to play this game is entirely in my hands. And right now I'm not into it.

Also, guess what? I saw the guy who was in the photo with WH and ugly girl! It's sooo weird. My town is NOT that small. I instantly recognized him. I mean, what is that? A sign? A coincidence? Weird.

I'm a little sad the school year is over, but happy I can go back in on Monday and see some new staff.

Yes...it is all up to YOU! Some things that you probably already know that I had to discover were 1)this feeling comes and goes...one day it's very strong and then a few days later I feel the opposite. ARGHHH! You are sooo wise to learn how to live in the present!

2) to not vent to my friends and family when I was feeling ready to let go and just file for D because that is what they wanted me to do...and I would totally confuse them when I let them know later that I changed my mind!




I don't understand...why is it strange that you recognized the guy? I mean why is it a sign?



I am definitely going to think about this some more- how does one "relax tension" mentally? I picture physically it is done through breathing kind of like when you do "cool down" after working out (in classes at least). Does that same exercise help you to mentally relax tension?

You know what- I think kids pick this up too, don't you think? When I was nervous about how to handle behavior issues the kids could tell. Once confidence came over me, now my management rocks!! Did you struggle with this at one point?

And you really must love your job- I mean I have always been sooo exhausted and thrilled for the last day of school to arrive! No matter how great my students were! But I have to admit that by the time August rolls around, I am so ready to return! (and I am ready NOW to return)

I know, I'm really excited for you to go back to work! Just because I like work and am excited to get back.

Okay, working backwards here. Physically relaxing tension-- what I get from the show-- is even watching how you hold the leash. It's so funny, something you might not think of. But when you are holding the leash with tension, that message goes straight to the dog. Relax your whole body!

Mentally is harder. I'd say (even though I am no expert, just what I get from my studies) that it is wrapped up in living in the now. So for example, this morning, I was mad about WH and ugly girl again. But I made myself stop. I was walking on a trail so I started focusing on the color of the leaves and the sky and stuff like that. (Sounds loopy, I know!) Then I was in the pool later and I was mad again. So I focused on the feel of the cool water and the hot sun. To me relaxing mentally is letting go of negative thoughts and focusing on the good in front of you now.

So hokey, but so me! I'm such a sucker.

Oh, and students DEFINITELY pick up on that, exactly! I'm so glad you understand. That's what got me hooked on Cesar in the first place; looking for strategies to manage my classroom.

So about seeing that guy-- I saw him in real life! I was walking down the street going to a happy hour and he was on a bike. He slowed down right by me and I saw him so clearly. I was just on his FB page, know that he's good friends now with WH, know that he just moved here from CA, and it's just so weird that I SAW him the day after all this drama! Maybe it's not a sign, but it's super coincidental.

And thanks so much for those two points. Especially #2. I have definitely already encountered that. Because I was so "done" with him at the beginning. I think a LOT of people would be surprised that I would ever give him another chance. It even surprises me sometimes.

TTYL, NM!

OMG!!!! Cesar is getting divorced.

He and his wife were sort of inspirational to me because they were separated for 6 months many years ago. And now after 16 years it's done.

OMG.

About Cesar, since his wife filed and is asking for primary custody of the kids, I can only suspect an OW. Ah, people.

WH texted me. I didn't have my phone nearby so I didn't get it for a couple of hours; just got it now.

He wanted to "check in" to see how the baby and I are doing. He also said he got a coupon to Babies R Us and wanted to know if I needed anything.

Geez.

Um, hmm.

Anybody got ideas on where to go from here?

I could ignore it tomorrow. Seems a little harsh to an offer for the baby, tho.

I could write back "fine, thanks. if I think of anything i'll let you know." Might be good.

I could write back, "a**hole, why don't you ask ugly girl what i need?"

ok, that one was a joke.

I could write back. "Yes: hemorrhoid cream, lanolin for nipples, a supportive bra, and a crib."

another joke.

I'll probably go with #2.

I already know that his mom is going to try to stay at his apartment in a few weeks after the baby is born. I'm going to "save up" all my favors for that one in case he says no. It really is irritating that everyone else is accommodating family for the birth, and if he thinks he's going to be able to maintain his secret life and not have anyone stay in his big 2-bdrm mostly empty apartment, well then. . .

Oh also, SIL told me (still didn't correct her) that he wants to go on a camping trip from Friday-Sunday. Right over the weekend of my turning 40 weeks. I suppose I could ask for that too, for him to stay in town. But I kinda don't care if he's here or not. It just seems rude, though. Or like. . . like he's escaping the birth or something. Like he has a problem with this baby or something.

Ha ha, being funny again.

Okay, I need to go to sleep. 'Night!

Whoa....what happened? Any guesses as to why they are divorcing? So sad!!

Now I get what you mean about the guy-lol! I didn't realize that you saw the guy IN PERSON after seeing him for the first time in that pic! I read it as you saw the guy in the phote and realized you recognized him from your town.

Good description of what living in the present moment looks like. I really truly will use this strategy to get me through this.

oops- we were posting at the same time.

damn OWs. Why are they everywhere? Can I no longer trust my fellow sisters? What happened to the code?

Do you really need a crib, seriously? Make the %$#%&** buy you one! I'm totally serious! Of course there will be massive assembly required. Of course you also know that the babies don't sleep in their cribs for quite awhile so maybe there is no urgent need, eh?

Sheesh- camping over the weekend. I guess since you didn't want him at the birth it doesn't matter anyway. Can you believe we actually fell in love and MARRIED these men????? I KNOW all of us had good taste and high expectations! So this is just mind boggling.