Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives The journey begins

CTH, Ditto.
Hang in there.
We're all here with you.

Hugs to you CTH. I know it's frustrating and frightening all at the same time. Try to make today only about TODAY. Try not to let worry about the future bleed into your life or it will take over.

That was a momentary thing yesterday. I'm good most of the time now. I haven't even felt the need to schedule the final two sessions with my IC.

I do have some money concerns -- but don't we all?

Driving around this afternoon I thought of a strategy to try in the future. Avoid STBXW at all costs but when forced to see her act like it's a pleasant surprise.

Thoughts?

Is there any reason not to avoid her? Why the "pleasant surprise" stuff, why not just be polite and business like?

I don't like acting.

Hey, CTH. I like Kat's advice: treat the WAS like the mailman. You know you're friendly, but anything you wouldn't say to the mailman don't say to your WAS. It's worked for me anyway. I do find the less contact with the WAS the better for my PMA though.

About the praying. I used to do that for a long time, pray for God to restore my marriage. But eventually I realized that telling God what to do is kind of...whatever that is. I pray now for God's will, to help me realize what that is and follow His will.

CTH,Almost sounds like a step backwards from detachment.

Interesting. I do much better when I don't see her. When I do I try to get in and out without conversation or eye contact.

I'm doing pretty good with everything else -- just being in the same room with her is difficult. Tonight was a case in point. D11 forgot her medicine. So I gave her the phone to call STBXW. She came over to drop it off. I was doing dishes and didn't come out of the kitchen. STBXW sat outside with D7 for a couple of minutes. I headed downstairs to throw some laundry in. I didn't say anything to her.

This isn't good either. But I haven't resolved this stuff in my head. I know the theory is I should act like I'm over all this -- but I'm just not there yet.

I guess I was trying to give myself kind of a game plan.

Well, you know where you need to get to, so now you just have to get there.

You feel what you feel. Work through it.