Ok, I still have not read this book but Kim in Hopefullness did and said it is a good book.
Don't know the author's name, but the title is 'Romancing your Husband'
I saw it in the bookstore and read the back cover of it and it looked interesting but that was right after David filed for the D so didn't seem an appropriate book at the time.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I'm so glad things are going so well. Now that you know his love language is acts of service, I'm sure you can come up with other things to do for him.
Is there something that he's been meaning to do around the house and just hasn't gotten around to it? Maybe it is something you could do for him. Since you said in an earlier post that he does take care with his appearance, how about doing a little ironing for him or something to spiff up his wardrobe? As far as something a little romantic, how about making his favorite dessert, putting out a few candles, and putting yourself into something really sexy one evening and feeding him his dessert? Just a thought
You are doing great controlling your outbursts and neediness. Try to hang in there because the results are definitely worth it!
Enjoy your evening with your ff. I'm off to a banquet with H tonight. I'm planning on looking very good!!
Hello again. What show is "rawhide" from? It cracked me up when the Blues Bros. sang it in their movie.
Anyhow, have not been doing my flybaby assignments. I've been really tired, busy, and the bathroom doesn't need much de-cluttering. (slacker!)
Last night went out w/ff and h was home when i got home. I was surprised that he didn't go out. he seemed kind of mellow, and i was too. (all was fine)
tonight he called me and asked what i was doing. i was at the psychiatrist's office and told him i didn't have plans. (i was going to go to a cool grocery store and buy some unique things for din.) he said his friend called and wondered if he wanted to go out for a couple beers. I said that was fine, and he said he wanted to ask b/c he knew he wasn't giving me much notice. I said cheerfully, "no problem." and that was that. Then we went to hang up and he said "love you!" i said "i love you too! "
so, i went to the store anyhow-can use the stuff tomorrow or friday. I want to have what we call a "picnic." I got some funky dips for crackers, a blueberry pie, some funky beer, and some other stuff. I'll have to think of a main course, and have candles and music, and well...we'll just see what happens. btw, i ALWAYS feed him ice cream. He says it's my job! It's a big joke now. He's gaining his weight back, i've kept mine off.
He flirted with me this morn. I'm learning s..l..o..w..l..y.. to back off on the needing sex to make myself feel "wanted." Many many things are helping this r get back into shape.
shall i list them? i am not "hung up" on how h feels about me i am more independent and doing my own thing with friends, etc. i bite my tongue when i am upset about stuff (i used to share EVERY feeling) i don't talk about the r i show appreciation for him i accept him i love him i joke with him i have lightened up and laugh with him i don't freak out when he goes out i don't ACT jealous...OK, OK, so i still get jealous! ...will i ever quit? i trust him i listen to him i take care of me i talk to him like an adult i don't try to control or manipulate him i don't take everything personally i am more outgoing again i am GOOFY!!! Goofy!! goofy!! i can't tell you how goofy i really am!
i talk about things he is interested in i've lost the tone-you know that underlying mistrusting/suspicious tone?
what else? more later. gotta go. library is closing. i'm in the mood for a "spa night." karen
Yes, Karen it is incredible how much you've grown and changed in the 2 1/2 months you've been posting. I am glad you are seeing tangible results in your M. You've really worked hard and deserve every bit of the improvement.
Keep up the great work, girl!
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Hi, I was afraid that since I was saying how well things were going that I would jinx myself. I did have some anxiety today. Feeling insecure about h. Tried to STOP and think about other things/re-focus on work, etc.
h flirted some this morn. Hoping he'll finish what he started later. He said he would (w/o me asking), but sometimes he is too tired on Thurs. from going out on Wed. I'm trying not to ??? have expectations? get dissappointed if it doesn't happen, etc. Must act as if, b/c if my insecure vibes come out, then he'll get turned off. and we don't want that!
ent said that i most likely don't have meniere's since i don't have hearing loss. yay! and that my sinuses are NOT causing my headaches. the facial pain is prob. rebound from taking analgesics! And, he said i should see a neurologist. ha ha...i told him that she said to come see him! oh well, the plan was to rule things out, but i just want some med's that will help! ungh-temper tantrum-
ok, wish me luck on behaving myself.
Oh, are there any experts on jealousy/insecurity on the board? ttys! karen
I'm trying to read some more threads here on the bb, and something form your last one really sounded familiar to me:
Quote: I get very jealous, insecure, dependent, and needy. I am very affectionate and like to spend time with H. I have gotten into many many accusations against him claiming that he doens't care about me, or by getting jealous over him talking to old female friends. (Even made scenes in public!)
Initially, he reassured me, but got tire of it, b/c I would continue to get upset. Eventually he backed off more and more. Then we would start the uphill swing and I would crash, causing up to take steps back. Then we'd have to rebuild again, and again, and again.
It sounds like you have really made progress in this area - congratulations! I have alot of the same issues, with the same affect on my H.
Thank you for the inspiration, and keep up the good work!
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Hi Mockers2, I'll have to go over to your thread some time! Thanks for stopping by.
Well, I canned my angst last night and things went well. I went to play vball, came home, made din., had great convo. this is so neat! mom stopped over for a few. Got a little worried b/c it was near bedtime and we still had to eat dessert, and i wanted to take a shower. so i asked if he was going to me and he said yes emphatically. Ye-ah! he told me to relax. I said, i know, i was getting worried b/c it is late.
Don't know what we are doing this weekend, but apparently, we are going to be together both friday & sat. b/c neither of us have made plans w/our friends.
karen sorry i haven't devoted more time to the rest of you. I well, got caught at work spending too much time on the net... ttys!
" 
What great results!