Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers What does this mean?- the WH's regrets?

I am so sorry Gatsby!! At least you have done the very best thing so far in case of an A and that is to have mostly NC!

Are you going to confront him?

No, not going to confront him. I doubt he has A with ugly girl, like I said. But why would he go to our college town? If he slept with her, I'm never going back with him. Mark my words. I will not have anything to do with her.

So I guess that pushes confrontation, right? He would probably tell me the truth by now.

Not before the birth. But maybe after. Maybe.

Okay, I'm slowly putting this together.

She came HERE.

But this other guy has his arm around her. Maybe WH is hooking them up?

But freaking STILL. She came here and saw WH. And didn't mention anything to me.

I've got a mind to send her an email about her shallowness. Even if it's just one line. Something like, "Wow, you give cheap shots."

But then she'd know I was hurt and tell WH. And it's exactly what she wants anyway.

I should have understood everything before I posted! She was JUST here this weekend. Went to all WH's new haunts.

WTF was he thinking? He didn't even tell me on Sunday. That kind of gets me. I feel like he could have said, "Ha, guess who came to visit?" And we would have laughed at her pursuit of him. Or at least that's what we would have done in the past.

Now I have no idea.

There was one point, though, when he was looking at pictures on his iphone. (Trying to find the food picture to show me.) And he looked at the pics for a long time, like he wanted to tell me something. But he didn't.

Not telling me makes me think it's something significant then. I thought if this happened a long time ago, then no wonder he didn't say anything. But just this weekend?

The other thing is-- this girl has two kids, you guys. Totally not what he'd be looking for.

Whatever. I'm tired of it now. I said I needed to do yoga and I didn't. I know what I'm going to do. Watch Dog Whisperer. Okay, going to do that now.

I went on a walk, teared up a little bit, am back, and put on my yoga music. Same yoga music that got me through Jan/Feb, incidentally! It is helpful.

Dog Whisperer after.

Just to say what I realized on the walk-- I really do feel like he just turned the knife in my back again. I hope he realizes I saw the picture and apologizes. It would have been perfectly normal to mention she was coming when he was here on Sunday. I suppose it's possible she called on Monday morning and that's when they hung out, but it's very unlikely.

I'm glad this happened. I was getting too comfortable with him. If he would have told me on Sunday, I would not have been this upset. At all. We both always laughed at her. Because she was so desperate for him.

But he didn't say anything. He should feel very very guilty. He is making me lose sleep tonight. Thanks for being helpful, bud! The carseat is installed, but I'm having to go through all of my strategies to calm myself down and return to a better place.

I won't let my guard down so easily next time.

In all likelihood G, their meeting meant very little to him. It's she who posted the pics, right? Not him. So maybe he was even feeling a bit embarrased, and thought it best not to bring it up. I can sort of understand that. Yes, it would have been better if he had, but in the scheme of things, I think I can see why he might think it was irrelevant or not worth wasting breath on. Does that seem reasonable? You know best...just thoughts.

I am glad however it is unlikely to be an A scenerio.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200810/the-art-now-six-steps-living-in-the-moment

I see your post, P. Thanks, that could be. I didn't think of it. It probably did mean very little. I can't let her get to me now.

I've got nice music on and I just read the above article. It's very helpful to me. (All Buddhist ideas are-- life is suffering.) Might be helpful to you.

Not you specifically P! Just 'you' who is out there reading!

I will be reading that article when I am done with the threads tonight!

Gatsby, perhaps your H knows how much you despise that girl so he didn't want to tell you that she was here!

hey i'm up. figured it'd happen this way.



Yeah, that's kind of it. Another betrayal of sorts. If someone who had been pursuing ME our whole marriage up and visited me, I'd feel like I would mention it with humor. "Oh, Ben's visiting this weekend. Heh heh." But not saying anything makes it more important than it is.

I do think P's idea that it didn't fit with our 'moment' makes some sense. I can see that.

I hope he writes tomorrow something just pleasant or asking how he can help me so I can just not respond. Or I could say "You wish."