Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Re-Connecting

Greek is wise. I strongly suggest you listen to her great advise...

Well, she moved into the spare bedroom lastnight. She seemed upset but I just stayed upbeat and played with my son and put him to bed.

I gave her some mediation paperwork lastnight that I had been looking at when we originally started talking D. I asked her to look it over and if she had any questions she could call their office.

She came in my room later to chat and I asked her if we could just keep the chatting to a minimum and that it be about our son. She looked shocked that I said that and she went to bed.

Hopefully that wasn't too much over the top. I just can't keep pretending to be a couple when we aren't. I get so angry when I see her, just a few nights ago she was telling me how she wants to work on the marriage then this. It's not fair!

Is this as good as time as any to detach myself a bit from the situation? My W will be working for the next few nights so we will have little or no contact. Any conversations should be about our son if any.

I was considering the advice given by Greek to start the process and see how well that goes. I feel a sense of relief that I have some direction now, it's been such a roller coaster ride the past few months.

Yes, I think that would be wise, FFH.

Puppy

Looks like my wife may have re-activated her FB account. She is denying it but she is showing back up on my page. It's amazing how right on you guys are about WAW not being herself.

Needless to say I took a couple steps back when I asked her. She got angry and defensive and hung up on me. I guess I should have expected that. I need to turn off all communcications with her unless it's about our son.

I've taken the advice from all of you to see if there is OM. No evidence as of yet.

One word of caution on that, FFH, and that is FB has recently changed a BUNCH of their settings, and it's really all screwed up. I'm getting text messages when someone posts a reply to my wall (never used to), getting asked Friend requests from people that had long since ALREADY been my friend, and a whole host of other quirks and bugs.

Or, your wife could be lying. But I did want to throw that out there.

Puppy

I just confirmed that she did in fact reactivate her FB page. I received an email at work that i commented on her page. When I called her I asked her if she re-activated her page or if my phone is just acting wacky. She denied re-activating it, not sure why it popped right back up on my page....

I've been "monitoring" for OM. I still have no evidence so looks like I have nobody to blame but myself for now. We got into a pretty heated conversation earlier in the day. I talked to her while she was on her way to work.

I expressed that D is probably inevitable and we should start focussing on becoming friends so we can be civil in front of our son. I'm assuming she start the D paperwork soon. I'm planning on focussing on me and my son and hopefully I can stay busy enough so I can stop thinking about this.

She's moved to other bedroom and you've offered the friendship card. If you thought you were in limbo land, you didn't know anything. Now, you will experience limbo.

I will have to agree with Greek's advice. Tell your W that you did not get M in order to have a "friend" (I assume you do have friends, right?). Tell her you deserve a W who wants to have sex and build a future together. Tell her you do not want "this" M and that you will file for D.

Last night we had a discussion about where we were in this R. I expressed all those points "Sandi2" my W basically looked at me with a blank stare. She had nothing to offer me.

I've actually considered taking the reigns and doing all the leg work for the D. I guess in the back of my head I wonder if I make it too easy she'll actually sign the papers. I guess that is something I need to swallow, it's really come down to it.

In the heat of the argument she mentioned that she was basically stalling because of the house. That stung a little bit, I guess all the "I want to work on our M" was a load of crap.

I started reading the DR again. It's such an uplifting book. I read the 1st couple chapters and it really gives you hope even when your in the thick of things. The D trap is so interesting, I almost felt that sigh of relief when she convinced me that D is what she wanted. I felt the pain go away for just a 1/2 second......

I'm not sure what to do know, I guess I need to research whether attorneys or mediators are the way to go. Financially I was told mediators are the way to go as long as agreements aren't complicated. Any thoughts??????

Yes, mediators are great, and appropriate if you're basically "uncontested" on most counts. But ONLY do it if you can also have an atty you retain on the side to review your agreements before you sign anything.

Puppy