I still get daily letters from that same website. They are very inspiring!
Someone said if it doesn't feel right, don't rush it! I wish my d had not been rushed, not my call though. I did all I could to slow it down & in 7 months after the bomb my d was final. It needs to be a law that it's harder to get a d than it is. Some states make you wait, I wish they made you go for counseling or something. I still think if we had, it might not have happened, of course ow was telling him to "hurry up" - saw it in an email to him.
CW - Hope you are doing well, I know that you are struggling with hope for your M. We are both on about the same time line here. The thought of initiating D didn't even enter my mind and so far my H didn't do anything either. I know that your H took some steps. If he didn't would you?
Only you can decide if you want to continue standing. The D will help you get some of the financial practicalities settled, but nothing much will change with your interaction with your H since you have children, you will always have to have him in your life and see him with OW.
Maybe more detachment is needed instead. Divorce him in your mind...try to get to a point that you don't care what he does and with whom. It helps me to separate H into two different people. The old H - Love, memories good feelings. The new MLC H I don't have to care what he does, he is a stranger right now.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Has been crazy busy and have just have not had the desire to come on here much this weekend. Thankyou for the encouraging words but I am realizing that H's behavior is really not anything new...it seems that he does not have good coping skills when handling life's transitions and he had an A when he went thru his last life transition...granted, it didn't last and he came back, but this one is different.
I have to think about the possibility that this will happen again down the road when he goes through his next one whether he is with me or someone else.
Do I still want to stand. Yes...but I really need to look at the reasons why I am standing and decide if they are good reasons.
I will get caught up later on you guys! Hope everyone had a good weekend!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I have to think about the possibility that this will happen again down the road
I've been thinking about that also...mine did it once before as well.
Mine, too, more than 25 years ago. And while it helps me to be more forgiving and compassionate if I consider H a MLCer, I have to also consider the possibility that this A is just the last in a long string of infidelities, and was simply the one that got caught.
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
