Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives Nothing fits

Why does it have to be a date at night? How about a matinee? How about YOU plan a great daytime date?

"He left me 3 times in less than 4 months and each time he proclaimed that he wanted our R, wanted our family. This time he came for convenience and stayed."

Well, it is good that his behavior is different this time. He seems to be more cautious and more aware, yes?? So, quit trying to predict the future. Who knows, maybe YOU will leave? Maybe things will work? Who knows???

Ask him out! Show him what you want.

kat

If he likes having you in the same room, read your book while he is watching tv. There has to be a compromise.

Don't give up the little things that bring you joy.

And stop with all the assumptions. You don't know how much him needing a place to stay was an excuse to come back. And even if that's all it was, you two certainly didn't have to start a physical R back up. You each made that choice because you each wanted it.

Try and make the R you have with him what you want and need. The worst that can happen is that it doesn't work out. And you already know you can survive that, and even thrive on your own.

Mishka, I just posted this on my thread. It is from a book written by David Wilkerson, a pastor to street gangs in the '50's. He wrote this book on healing over thirty years ago and in it talked about a couple who came to him for counseling, the wife said her husband did not make her "happy". This is what he said:
"What a shame that all your happiness depends only on what your husband does. If he's a good husband, if he treats you the way you think you should be treated, if he spends a little time with you -- then you may find a little happiness. But when he lets you down, you have nothing left. Your whole world rises and falls on the actions of your husband....you're not a whole person. You're just half a person.You cannot survive if you depend on someone else for your happiness."
Go read when you wanna, if it makes you happy!

I hear ya Wii. I definitely don't rely on Gabe to make me happy. I am happy being with him, but not because of him. Does that make sense? It does in my head but might not to others! LOL

Yes, 'date night' is just a term. It definitely doesn't have to be night. Just a span of a few hours where we could go do something alone together. No idea when that might be possible. Maybe early Saturday morning after I drop Marc off for his CAP glider flying, drop mom off for dialysis and before I have to go pick her up and before he has to go to work at noon. Hmm...that would give us about 2 hours. If I can get him to just go for a walk with me around the lake, that would be nice. I'll ask him tonight.

I did buy a gift certificate today for "The Sun Dial" restaurant. It's a revolving restaurant on the top of the Westin hotel in downtown Atlanta. Beautiful views and overpriced food. It was a steal though - $20 for a $50 gift certificate. I was thinking that we might be able to have an evening there sometime in the next 6 months (that's the terms of the gift certificate). I'll figure it out.

So, what kind of things do you guys like to do that are cheap or free? With or without a teenager? I'm needing some fresh ideas and you guys are always full of them!

I went to a wine-tasting with some friends tonight (didn't have the kids). It was free and fun, had never done that before. We have a dollar movie theatre in town. The local park/lake is fun and free, feed the ducks and people watch, a gazebo too.

My local newspaper has a list of activities for every day of the week, and on Friday have a special section devoted to stuff: concerts, local events, all kinds of stuff, ranging from free to cheap to expensive. Maybe you have a local paper like that too?

Karen, I went cough medicine tasting tonight by myself (didn't have the kids either) and it was free too because my benefit plan covers it. But, it sounds like you had more fun!

Which cough medicine tastes best? I am in the market for a fresh bottle...

Who the heck drinks it for the taste? It's the year you gotta watch for.