Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers What does this mean?- the WH's regrets?

Hey, we're on at the same time! I'm going to bed very soon, though. I didn't get enough sleep last night.

Anyway, I do want WH to feel confident with his baby-care self. I think that's a huge part of his adjustment disorder-- he has no confidence that he can do a good job. I'll try to help that part. Again, I'm not doing it for him to get back with me. I really want (need?) for him to be a decent-at-least-halfway-there father. So if I can help, I want to try. Even if it means stepping back!

Not to get into a whole thing, but I mentioned before once in passing that my mom has Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissism. Fun stuff. She doesn't know she has it because, in my opinion, the family therapist is too chicken to tell her. (And if she's somehow reading this, she should be ashamed. She's a big SNOOP.)

Anyway, children of these parents can try to take care of everything because they don't want to upset the fragile parent. They also tend to push their needs down because so often their needs were ignored or ridiculed.

It's ironic that the very thing I hated (how controlling she was) can pop out in me with the opposite motivation-- to take care of problems on my own. Once here when Pearlharbr said I was controlling about something, I really was taken aback! Me? I don't want to control anyone; in fact, they can sit down and I'll take care of it! (Funny that I didn't see that was just a different form of control.)

This is way too much psychobabble. As I continue to deconstruct, I contradict myself and get confused. So I should bring it up at my next therapy session!

Bottom line, ask WH for help with the baby. And be open to his ideas about her care. When I can be.

The end of the school year is so much fun! You can't help but be excited. Yay!! Glad my little girl's birthday will be around this time.

Hmm, interesting little thing here. WH's mom wrote me (MIL, that is) and said that she and WH have been in a lot of contact the past few weeks. That's interesting. And can only be good.

Very interesting, Gatsby! But now I am trying to remember if you do not want to hear about WH through anyone...or is that BD?

No, that's me. I know. I don't want to hear! But they KEEP bringing him up to me. I guess I need to tell them again. And probably give them a 'why' behind it so they remember.

The other thing is-- what does "lot of contact" mean to her? She's been calling and leaving him messages and he texts back? That's the problem with messages between people. I don't know what the facts are. So it shouldn't mean much to me at all.

When I wrote her back, I omitted responding to that part. But I should be more direct. It's just that I felt the resolve stronger back when I told them, and now I tend to get curious. But it's just bad bad bad to go through family.

Oh yeah, I wanted to say that I am 1 cm dilated and she's in -1 position. I know that means it could still be a long ways away, but it was very exciting for me! Wow, craziness.

That's great news! I was that way on S' due date! but then I had him induced a week later.

and I wanted to say sometimes it can be helpful to communicate with a family member...especially if you want them to relay something back to your H like "she is doing great! starting to date!" or something like that (obviously not now!)

hey, 1cm!!!!!!! Yay!! Did they say anytime now??
I am so excited for you!!!!!!!

I was one cm for 2 days during early labour...lots of contractions, 5mins apart, lasting 40secs-1min. Only dilated more after induced.

Are you feeling anything, G?

Did you go for a routine check-up? That how you know?

HUGS!!

Also is it your plan to tell WH when you are in early/active labour? Or just when little cherub is born?

HUGS AGAIN!!

What's "-1 position"?

Mine was 3/5 engaged (speaking about the head being in position) for 6 weeks prior...