Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy My Wife And Her Emotional Affair

She's working and paying for it and OM often reimburses her for the expense. I'll try setting that boundary - thanks.

Tell his WIFE that OM is paying for your wife's cell phone bills Ken... Even if she doesnt DO anything at least show OM that YOU can violate HIS home if he violates yours... It MAY bother him.. who knows... any idea?

Good idea.

Well I set the boundary about calling from inside our home. I said, "You need to stop calling So-and-so from inside our home...it's incredibly disrespectful to me and the kids." And she said, "OK." I also said, "And that is not giving you permission, it's a boundary."

She left to go to work (and who knows where else). I'm going to call the OM now.

Even better.

Puppy

YOu could also add Ken that

"It's incredibly disrespectful to HIS WIFE and HIS KIDS.."

Well I spend Memorial Day having fun with the kids. I took them hiking and to a water park. It would have been nice to have W join us, but she is in her own world right now. I know she loves to go places; she just doesn't want to go with me right now. So I continue to leave her alone.

That's good Ken, give her a taste of divorce... It will bother her... You have to trust your kids on that..

I hope you're right. The strange thing is, it doesn't seem to bother her. I come home after several hours with the kids and she is happily watching TV. When I put the kids to bed, she says goodnight to them but not to me. I feel like she is so heartless towards me these days, except that she does cook and clean.

Tomorrow I will go to my 7 yo daughter's birthday party with her and then I plan to work on that TSO. It's been a year now and I'm so frustrated. I'm starting to wonder if this marriage is possible to save. She has told me that she is just not in love with me. She doesn't have a problem with my looks; she is just not attracted to my personality. I wish she'd at least be willing to go to counseling or something, but she's not. She has told me repeatedly, "I tried for 11 years!" referring of course to the 11 years up until OM came along, because we have now been married for 12 years.

Ken, we all heard this : It's crap.

Once a spouse starts an affair they throw EVERY EXCUSE they can dream up to JUSTIFY LEAVING and RUNNING AWAY from their PROBLEMS with some OTHER MAN

They buy the cart first, then they start digging up horses to put in front of it.

The excuses however are very common :

1. I am not in love with you
2. I am not attracted to you
3. I tried and it didn't work

Well guess what? This is how a woman will feel who has went outside her marriage to have her emotional needs met

Let me repeat that


Women who go outside their marriage to have their emotional needs met cannot feel attachment to their husband


The problem is, there are two solutions :

a. Abandon my family and run off with the OM meeting my needs currently
b. End my affair and work with my spouse to have him meet my emotional needs again

A is obviously an escapist fantasy that rarely if every works long term (less than 1% according to Phil McGraw)

B is the tried and true method advocated by most marriage therapists...

YOU Ken. YOUR JOB is to NOT get INTIMIDATED by your wife's LAME-ASS and TRANSPARENT EXCUSES to avoid B. GOT IT?

Beautifully said. And how many times have we read this type of description here?