Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Need a Plan for My Marriage

Watch the hot-cold feelings (she gets all...I can get it). Having passive-agressive, weak-strong, can-can't thoughts are flags to me that say you need to make sure your emotions aren't overwhelming you.

There has GOT to be some free legal aid. If you have another 15 days, then free is better than not-at-all, LSG.

I'm sure your financial woes are frustrating, but you have an interview on Tuesday and you need to be mentally all there. Pickup your socks, enjoy everything, and your interview will go better. Just like no wife wants a depressed husband during these times, no employer does either.

Use today's movie time for your kids find ways to score that job if it is possible. If not, plan a backup!

Good luck, good sleep, and good planning...~

My emotions are not overwhelming me; it is my sitch that is overwhelming me at the moment.

There is free legal aid, and I will use it if I have to, but I need much more in my divorce to stop her from doing more harm to me and the kids.

I am feeling this way now, but I will not let it affect my interview on Tuesday. I cannot allow that to happen.

I am down today I know, but I have to pick myself up, and I will. I do not let her see me like this because it is not in my best interest. I have to be strong for the kids too. For me, I need to let out how I feel or I will go crazy. DBing is for that.

Thanks for the support. I will fighting. This is the toughest situation I have been in, and I have to keep going forward.

If you need to raise 500.00 in two weeks that equates to a little less than 34.00 per day. It is totally doable. You live in L.A. where people have money to burn and pay for tasks/chores to get done.

I just took a look at the L.A. section of CraigsList under "gigs" (both domestic, tech and labor) and there are plenty of people looking for extra help over the next few days. All the ads state cash is paid the same day.

I found ads for dog walking, interior painting, moving help, bar tending for one night, helping somebody to get Outlook up and running and various other odd jobs.

I suggested you look at this resource a few days ago. Have you?

What did the Bar Association say? I ask because I looked around the website and found a few resources worth checking out.

Don't think of the 500.00 sum. Think of how you can earn 34.00 per day for the next 14 days.

I know you are emotionally down and frightened but you need to be very proactive and follow up on the suggestions.

Use the mental energy you are putting forth about your W and how unfair this is (wasted energy) to being proactive and sourcing 34.00 per day (positive).

Get on Facebook and find some L.A. groups and network and make posts that you are available for odd jobs. You need to put yourself out there.

CityGirl,

I have found the $500 from a friend that offered me the money because she says she hates how wife treats me and has treated me. I guess I am glad that she hates her. I would hate to think if she actually liked her. I have found so many people that are saying the same thing as her.

I haven't yet about Craigslist. I know that it is a good suggestion, and I am going to. I need to now.

The Bar Association provided some numbers that I had found out about at legal aid, and it is still more expensive than the attorney that I found that will help me to start with $500. I did learn alot from the one attorney that I talked too.

I will follow up on Craigslist because I will still need more money, but I am more at ease, and other family members are going to help too.

I am going to Craigslist now.

Let you know how it goes.

I am listening, but it just took me awhile to actually think.

I am ready for your suggestions!

Thank you so much!

CG,

I did look, and so far the jobs are low pay that would cost me more to work with daycare than I would earn. The locations are quite far from where I live too. I am going to look everyday, and do the jobs that will work with the kids. I hope I will find jobs that will work with the kids.

This is not a "cop out." I just need to look everyday, and just do it.

I am in better spirits, and the "fire in my belly" to find the rest of the money anyway I am able to.

I am following your suggestions.

Thank you!!!

Took the kids to the beach today, and it did not cost me anything. I did buy some breakfast at McDonalds and had a great time.

W was suppose to watch kids for me while I worked, but she was gone when I came home, so I had to take them with me. I guess she was with him. I was annoyed, but what can I do about it. I do not know what boundaries to put on her and how since we are divorcing.

It was a good day, but I thought about her a lot because all of us use to go together. It was fun, but I did need to go after it began to hit me with every passing moment.

I did stay longer than I intended, but I am glad I did because I will have to face these moments more and more. I might as well face them sooner than later. It will only be harder if I don't. She and the kids went to the store, so I am here by myself.

It is nice to have a little peace and quiet to write my thoughts.

Try to avoid guessing. Understanding her, yes. Guessing as to what...you'll only drive yourself to ...

OTMT,

I should not be guessing, but it just has happened all to often. I don't know why I even care. She is divorcing me, so I won't have any part of it soon anyhow.

It is just too strange to me.

The time the kids get to spend with you is priceless. They may not realize it now, but they will.



You will drive yourself mad if you continue to mind read and try to guess what she is doing. Trust me, I have been there. I still go there some after all this time, but I try to make myself quit. Nothing good will come of it. I'm wondering a little bit today where she may be, but I turn my thoughts and attention to the kids and having a great time with them. That's all that counts. If she is out doing what I imagine she is, it's all the more reason I don't need her in my life. But, I don't know and I never will. My energy is best spent elsewhere.

You are handling yourself great under the circumstances. Keep it up. I think you are starting to realize you will be okay, even good, without her if she goes on with the D.

Again, be there for your kids-I know you are-and take care of yourself.

IDU,

You are right that it does drive you crazy "mind reading." I just can't help it sometimes. You are about what you said.

I am pretty sure that I saw him and another person outside my apartment last night. He watched my kids for a fews minutes. They were laughing until my daughter looked at them, and they left quickly. The description fit everything the OMW told me a couple a weeks ago.

I took the kids to the store, and my wife was gone for a couple of hours. She said she took a walk, but it was no coincidence that she was gone. Maybe "mind reading" but it is just too coincidental for me. I do not like someone watching my kids. Makes me sick!

My life probably would be better without her.

I have my interview today and talk to my attorney today. It is going to be a busy day for me.

I will always be there for the kids.

You are so helpful to keep me looking forward, not back.

Thanks!