Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis MLC, H and me

Hi CW!

Just wanted to say that I totally understand why you are willing to play the waiting game longer and that you need the health insurance! I have always thought that each of us will know when we are tired of waiting-no one else can know for us!

Also- my heart hurt for you when I read the tent was gone...and maybe your H is not answering because he is camping...and getting bit by mosquitos, poison ivy, the raccoons have gotten into their food, it is pouring down rain....

Is there anything that was "ours" that you can make "yours?" GRRRRRR....

Good answer for your daughter. I keep wondering what to tell S when he asks what happened one day. Of course I still hope that we will R!

Yes, you certainly could think of a lot of worse things. It will all come out eventually and you won't have to be the one to say it!

First STITCH:

H finally left in March and moved a few blocks away. He had said he was going since the September before.
I'm afraid its a familiar story - he turned into somebody that I just didn't know. Physically and mentally.
After getting everything wrong I discovered Michele's book and this site. And have been DBing relentlessly.
I have also been using all the advice that you have all generously shared on this forum and was doing really well detaching and focusing myself on GAL and the kids. Truly, your posts have become a life-line.
I had got myself to a good place and I was really beginning to manage all the thought agitation - especially about the OW.
Then yesterday, for the first time in 8 months he calls me and starts chatting as if nothing has happened. He sounded like the guy I had married. No anger or spite. No blaming or snide remarks. I kept cool and did all the things that Michelle suggests (no R talk; no mention of the OW; was upbeat and beat him to saying goodbye). He also asked if we could do something with the kids today. I said that sounded okay, but we should touch base tomorrow morning when I could ask them all what there plans were for the day.
I spent a really confused night and some hope began to creep inside of me.
This morning he texted me and said that he had to go to the farm to sort out some things that were 'beyond his control'.
It is in the country that the OW lives.
So I've found myself at rock bottom again.
I am cross with myself for allowing myself to read too much into it.
Its so hard isn't it?
I know I will pick myself up and get on with it, but I just needed to write.

Hi Twiglet

Sorry you are going through this. It sounds like after a rough start, you got on the right track with galing and detaching. Detaching is one the best things you can do for yourself.

MLC=confusion and it definitely sounds like he is confused. Sounds like he peaked out of the fog for a little bit, scared himself and went back in.


If you would like to start a thread of your own, you will get lots of responses and advice. You can either start one under Mid Life Crisis or Newcomers. Post your history, ages and what led up to your H leaving. This site is very helpful with lots of resources and others who have been through it or who are going through it!

If you do start a thread, let me know so I can find you~

(((Twiglet)))

Twiglet use the button "NEW TOPIC"

Thanks OP! I forgot to tell her how!!!

Kids spent the night at SIL's last night and haven't heard from them so they are probably having a great time on the farm!!!

I am cleaning and rearranging. Took the old church pew we were using at the kitchen table and moved it to a different room so now there are just 3 chairs at the table. Got some of the clutter deco stuff off the counters for a cleaner look! Been in this house for 11yrs so lots has accumulated!

Thinking about how empty this house will be when H takes his stuff...there will be lots of clutter gone! He is a pack rat/collector. Since kids are not here I let myself cry but hate to admit that it almost felt forced...

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

CW

You know I am watching over you. LOL

Unless crying burns a lot of calories, no need to force it! lol!
Seriously though, maybe you forcing the crying means you aren't feeling as devestated as you used to...acceptance maybe?

It is amazing how clearing counters and surfaces makes the entire house seem clean and fresh!!!

Hi NM! I have accepted my situation, but that doesn't mean that I like it! Just wish God cooked with a microwave!!!! I think he prefers the crock pot! Patience is one of the flaws that I need to work on in myself!!! I think, actually, that laughing burns more calories!!!



My kids told me tonight while we were eating dinner out that they don't feel like they have a Dad anymore. D11 said she tried calling him the other day and he didn't answer. I asked her if she left a message and she said that she didn't and I don't remember he exact words but was basically saying that if he couldn't be bothered to answer his phone then she wouldn't bother leaving a message. From an 11 yr old...wow! While we were sitting there eating, H's hot rod drove by. There is no mistaking his rod. Not sure it was him driving. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that H had paid off the loan on it and wondered if he had sold it. That was his baby, his pride and joy and if it is true that he did indeed sell it, then I know that he has definitely been abducted by aliens and been replaced with a podthing!

Hot Rod mystery solved...S14 called H today to remind him about summer school and said "we saw you in Fremont last night in the hot rod" H said he went there to pick up parts....