He's trying to make you confused and act like he is out in front of you on this.
Confidence comes from being prepared.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
could he also be retaliating or trying to throw that threat in your face because you borrowed money in the first place? I thought he was resentful of the fact that you don't bring in more income.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I don't know, I read it differently. That it just simplifies things the less accounts you have to wade through to tally it all up and divide things- that he thinks a new account makes that more difficult, not implying anything about you owing that debt alone. But maybe *I* missed something.
I'm so sorry you're in this place, FM. I feel like I'm in Wonderland/Twilight Zone, too.
I would do as others suggest- that other conversation you and I had about "date of legal separation" and what that means financially - I thought you guys already hit that date- don't know about the great north, but here I've been told that that means debts incurred are now separate- better check with your L.
((((FM))))
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
Flowmom, keep plugging along, keep posting, keep building your own life.
I am not sure about a lot of things in my life right now. We don't know what the future holds. I do know the lessons we have learned through all of this will help us in the future. And, I'm sure that you will be just fine.
he sounds like he's d'ing and knows it, yes. sorry to hear he is still only stuck in this mode. it could change. who knows? i still think he does not know what half-time single fatherhood will really be like. of course, he may not plan to stick it out for fifty percent custody truly after D, but dump more hours on you and be weekend fun dad. who knows? he could also move in another direction. it's still early even if you are sick of it. depends on what all is going on. there's a slim chance maybe. sorry this is going on. nightmare.
I also think this is a really good post for all of us to really read and understand.
While my feelings and thoughts mean jack crap, I have always felt your H was heading to a divorce no matter what. I am sorry to have to say that.
It is important to make goals (EX: having your H be more comfortable around your, smile, laugh and so on) but at the end of the day those gestures have not been reflective of his overall actions.
So really, the GAL'ing really was all for you. And I am proud of all you have done. If you really can get your business up and running again in a solid capacity I do feel your life will dramatically change in a way that is, well, quite simply wondrous.
Your H is very like mine. He needs to be the 'good guy' or pretend he is the 'good guy' by offering you random crumbs while he is privately moving towards a divorce.
The GRAND thing is you are much better prepared to handle all of this now. And that alone should be celebrated. YOU did the work. YOU did the learning. YOU did the growing. And if that is not amazing then I don't know what is.
I know I have been hard on you and for that I am sorry if it caused you any further distress. I do want you to know though that I am deeply proud of you and filled with admiration.
At the very least, why not have a genuine talk with your H now about what is going on. I think some R talks are worth having. Just IMO. (in my case I never initiated it but WH did it for me!)
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
