If I was a woman I'd go on a golf outing with him, dressed all sexy and all. I'd probably take him on one of the greens. You guys have to have more fun and stop worrying about controlling each other. Its a waste of life.
I didn't read that. She wants advice to continue validate her in ignoring her husband physically, and I guess new advice to leverage him and rip him apart. Sounds like a winning formula. I'll stay out of it.
Ok, I want to answer your questions, Mr. Bond, but I don't think I am going to participate any longer. I specifically asked that LongShanks NOT provide his opinions or advice. It's like harrassment, and I'm just not up for it at this point in my life. I really need a supportive environment right now.
You are going to get a variety of comments good and bad. But all are trying to help you.
We are all very supportive and right now it seems like you're letting your emotions get the better of you right now. Just like your sitch, you can't control what people tell you. But you can control how you react.
It's like your son with the dishes. You couldn't control that, so you get angry. Same as when you felt your H wasn't listening to you. You left then was surprised when he asked for a D.
It's up to you whether or not you want to continue posting, but I can tell you that we've ALL been through what you have. YOU are not unique. We've all learned different lessons, different ways to handle this, but I can tell you one thing. If it is your goal to save your marriage, this is the place to start.
If you don't decide to post any longer, then good luck to you and I hope things work out.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
No, it isn't ME who left - HE LEFT OF HIS OWN VOLITION and THREATENED ME WITH DIVORCE like he does ALL THE TIME! I never asked him to leave, I never wanted him to leave, I never wanted the divorce.
I am okay with different opinions, and I respect that I am not always going to hear what I want to hear. I'm okay with that. what I am NOT okay with is this LongShanks character who I SPECIFICALLY asked to stay OUT of my business. He offers NOTHING. This is a much bigger problem than me just going out and giving my husband a blow job and some sex and everything being all honkey-dorey! If that were the case, we wouldn't be in this situation! I came here for a reason. PLEASE, if I have come to the wrong place, tell me now because I am hurting and I am searching for answers. DON'T WASTE MY TIME!
"I was the one who wanted to leave at that time. I went out looking at apartments and small rental homes. I went to the four best family law lawyers in town and had consultations with them so that he would be conflicted out and would not be able to retain them. (I've worked in law firms as a paralegal for over 25 years, so I am familiar with the legal system).
He saw that I was serious about leaving and I suppose he actually gave half a crap about it, so he agreed to attend a counseling session with me - as long as I paid for it."
Am I wrong or did you not write that you had wanted to leave?
Look I understand you're hurting. I can hear you. Heck like I said we all are/were. I understand what you are going through. My W had an A with her boss twice her age and blamed me for it. I know what confusion/hurt/betrayal, etc. are.
You've got to calm down and collect your thoughts. If you don't, you will not be able to bust this D.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
What you just posted is something that happened last year. Yes, I did say I wanted to leave. Yes, I went out looking for apartments/houses. Why? Because of this same damn issue - he didn't get his way and he threatened me with divorce. I get really, really, really, REALLY tired of being threatened with divorce CONSTANTLY. How are we ever supposed to work on anything if I can't talk to him without being threatened?
I have never threatened him with anything. My thing is I just cannot be physically intimate with him because I feel as though I've been beaten down to a pulp by his threats - and they are constant, I am not exaggerating.
Now, I am calm. I would like to participate and get helpful advice, tips, hints, etc., provided LongShanks doesn't rear his ugly head again.
I am reading the Divorce Remedy and got through Chapter 6 last night. I am implementing the "last resort" because there is no way in hell that I can talk to him or email him or anything, He is dead set on hating me, divorcing me, getting a lawyer who will "slit my throat and leave me bleeding and gasping for air". I almost wish he would just come over and cut my throat and let me die - literally. I am having a really hard time with this.
Meanwhile, when I check his emails, he is just having the time of his life. He's out golfing with his buds, having a blast, and he has something going on this coming Sunday, but I don't know what it is yet. I'm sure he will reveal it to somebody in an email.
Okay, right now I am angry. Earlier I was weepy and an emotional, puffy-faced wreck. I'm sure that's going to happen again in the next hour or so.
I need some direction because everything just seems so hopeless right now. I don't understand why our relationship has to be like this! We actually used to be madly in love with each other. Now ... I don't even want to wake up tomorrow morning - or ever. It just sucks. Not that he'd care - he'd probably celebrate and go on with his golf game, and that hurts.
He is onliine right now. He doesn't know how to change his status to "invisible" on the email. If anybody is here right now ... please talk to me! I am so tempted to say "hello" to him in the chat box. But perhaps it's not a good idea, in light of last week's phone conversation. HELP!
