Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Wifey gone wild?

I am so thankful that all of my friends are still here for me. Isn't it amazing what this site has brought to our lives? You are all family to me.

I spent the day mostly just in a puddle. Darn it. After 2 freakin' years you would think I just wouldn't care.

But then, if I didn't care it wouldn't be me.

I just rinsed my face and I am heading out to get something to eat.

((((((Wifey))))))) You care because you are a good wife. You have to do what is best for you at some point though. Take care.

(((((Wifey)))))

Good for you! I mean it!

You did it... you told him that living like you've been living wasn't acceptable. In the "Passionate Marriage" there is a very similar type of letter, it got positive results. Maybe that doesn't happen for you, but if you are ready to make that stand, then it is time to do it. Now he gets to choose, in or out. Not, well, I will just float along.....

HUGS!

Thanks Jeff, who is not only virtually handsome IMO. Things have to change or I am going to put the house up for sale and as the kids say, peace out.

My nephew would be thrilled if I would move to Key West. And, it was unbelievable how many jobs their were in the paper down there. I could do much worse than living there.

So, here's a suggestion for you. Take some quiet time, and think about "What if I did sell the house and move to Key West?" Just as a mental exercise.

Take it one step further. Write down - just for yourself - a plan. It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to be realistic - it's the thought process that matters. Maybe your plan looks something like this:

• By 5/21 - Make my plan
• By 7/1 - Prepare house for selling
• By 7/1 - Start looking for job in Key West
• By 7/15 - Put house on the market
• By 9/1 - Sell house
• By 9/15 - Move to Key West
• Live happily ever after

Let me say again - I'm not proposing that you need to DO all of this. What I do suggest is that you think through a plan like this, in a fair amount of detail, and "try it on for size". Ask yourself - Should I do this? Could I do this? Do I want to do this?

Maybe you will discover, "I am not there yet." Or maybe you will discover something different. But give yourself permission to consider it.

((((More Hugs!!!))))

Rob,

It may surprise you to find that I have given this serious thought, particularly this week after my STBXH was so cold and callous that he couldn't even pretend it would bother him if I were with another man. I told him then that if you don't care then I might as well BE with another man.

My BIL just bought a double wide trailer close to theirs and it would rent for 1,200 a month. With a roommate I could swing the $600 a month, because I would ask for at least that much in monthly support from STBXH. I could sit for my great nephew as needed and wait tables or banquet the rest of the time. I know how to work, and I know how to live frugally.

The house is a sticking point. The market isn't great here in upstate NY. I may have to rent it out if it won't sell for what I need it to. Of course if STBXH wanted to stay here and pay all the bills I would make it legal. Of course a sale price of $140k would pay off my student loans, the home equity, and leave me a fair bit of money in the bank. (I would plan to split the rest with H, since he is not going to have his retirement left alone as he thought when he signed the house over to me. Half of that is mine, thank you.)

I have already applied for two jobs in Key West. Both offer relocation expenses, so that would cover the move.

How am I doing so far?

This doesn't mean I've stopped crying, or hurting, or am even close. However, I think I can heal just as well on a Key West Beach as I can in the land of taxes and snow.

I feel sick to my stomache and feel like I wasted nearly two years of my life. I want to throw his stuff on the front lawn and tell him to go the h*ll away.

Nope not buying that one. You are not the same woman that was on here two years ago.

Do you want me to pull up some of those old threads????

You can handle it.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, but how do I fight the urge to punch him?

For all this time I have not gotten angry. NOW I am.

Anger is legitimate, a good Kickboxing class is a good substitute for the real thing...

Burt