She is meeting with a pastor and the women's counselor on Wednesday to talk through the situation. This is the same pastor I had a phone conversation with last week.
I am praying along with you that this is the kick in butt that she needs to wake up.
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We'll see what happens. I'm meeting with my church pastor again tomorrow. If I get negative feedback from her meeting or hear that she is signing a longer term lease, I am going to deliver the message that I have decided our current arrangement no longer works for me.
Good for you. You have the patience of Job. I commend you for hanging in there for so long. It shows me that you know the importance of family and commitment. Like you have told me, in the end, you can be proud of yourself that you did everything you could to save your M.
Wow I'm surprised she could tell you that with a straight face. Did she say what she planning to do or how she felt?
It sounds like your W's just numb right now.
She just offered out of nowhere that she has a meeting with the pastor and the women's counselor on Wednesday, nothing more. Pretty much told me matter of factly, not like she was dreading it or anything.
She is numb. She's so used to being called out on her behavior. It makes her feel down and gives her physical symptoms of stress, but then after a couple of days she says she's OK. I really don't know how she does it. You'd think that she'd give in by now just to get everyone the hell off her back. But she is stubborn like a mule.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
I'm still all for kicking the OM's @$$ though. : )
I would actually quote that verse from Pulp Fiction that Samuel L Jackson's character would say before offing his victims before doing it.
Do you know if anyone talked to the OM from the church?
I don't know if anyone has said anything to the OM yet, but it is definitely on their agenda. They want badly to sit him down and tell him to back off, but they are walking a fine line between being intrusive and calling out a supposed Christian on very UN-Christian behavior.
I think they are gathering facts now, talking to my W and me, to get the whole story. They have said they do not intend to look the other way on this. They do not condone what is going on, and certainly don't want anyone thumbing their nose at what their church promotes, which is good Christian family life.
The guy who baptized my wife is a hard-a$$ and said he has no problem going up to the guy and talking to him. So I am pretty confident that they are going to deliver the message to him. If he rejects it they have said they will go as far as telling him he is no longer welcome there.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
"If he rejects it they have said they will go as far as telling him he is no longer welcome there."
That's one thing to be cautious of. If he gets kicked out, then your W might follow him because they are both "tortured lovers". Can't get any more romantic than that as warped as that is.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Met with my pastor yesterday and told him that I am looking at my W's meeting with her pastor and women's counselor as a tipping point for my next move. If they are unable to reach her, I don't feel there is anything else I can do.
My pastor was supportive and believes my W has had more than enough time to sort herself out. He basically said that God offers us grace (and this "intervention" by her pastor is an example of it) but it is our choice whether we accept it.
He told me he didn't feel I should have any regrets at this point, and I don't. I've been patient and tried everything.
I will wait for feedback from my W's meeting to decide when to deliver the "Drop OM and go to MC or start the legal process" message. If I get positive feedback - such as her pastor seeing encouraging signs and wanting more sessions with one or both of us, or my W making some effort, I may hold off. If I am told my W is resisting their message, then it's full steam ahead and let the chips fall where they may.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
I will wait for feedback from my W's meeting to decide when to deliver the "Drop OM and go to MC or start the legal process" message. If I get positive feedback - such as her pastor seeing encouraging signs and wanting more sessions with one or both of us, or my W making some effort, I may hold off. If I am told my W is resisting their message, then it's full steam ahead and let the chips fall where they may.
Lead, don't let things happen to you. Choose, decide and take confident action. Letting the chips fall is passive.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
