He writes me an email saying that he can't stand how I am so happy all the time
holla.
Originally Posted By: Katie
I honestly think he is trying to get me to say he wants our marriage to work and come crawling back to him so he can tell me that he doesn't want too just like I told him awhile back, it is almost like a revenge thing in a way.
sounds like he thrives on conflict and problems. has this worked for the 2 of you in the past?
Well to be honest it seems like this is how our marriage has gone on yes. He told me just two days ago that he feels like he couldn't get out if he wanted too though because he thinks that I wouldn't let him go...I told him no you can go if you want I am not stopping you at all. He does like conflict and problems I honestly believe that is true, it is almost like he likes playing games like this but would never actually go through with getting a divorce and I say that based on all the years we have been together and what we have been through.
I wanted to add that now he says he has seen the light and realizes that he has hurt me a lot over the years and can't forgive himself for doing that and so he thinks it would be best if we get a divorce because I deserve someone better who is as good of a person as I am.
This right here sounds like another person is in the picture...
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
Really, you think so? I know my husband and I know that you guys know a broad range of similiar situations but not everyone is always having an affair if they say those things either. I am not dismissing that is the case all the time but I don't think it automatically means it either. I am not sticking up for him I am just saying that each of us knows our husbands better then anyone on this board that hasn't been in our marriage like we have so I thank you for your advice and will take that into my thoughts.
..you do know your H better than anyone here..but when your H is having an A- they become master liars and manipulators. Self survival techniques kick in. Don't jump to any conclusions but don't rule it out. It sounds very familiar. Most men don't leave their wives unless there are other arms to go running into. It is never an easy pill to swallow. I am sorry..but I would have to agree with the others.
Katie- I'd like to know more about your history? How long you've been together, how this all started, kids or no, etc? Or if it's in a thread already, maybe you can point me to it?
My H just said to me today that my behavior is confusing him. He stopped just short of asking "why are you so happy?" But I can tell it's getting to him, so I can relate to some of the things you're saying. But it's hard to comment when I don't know all the details--
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
We have been together since high school. I was 16 when we met and he was 17, we actually have the same birthday. I was a sophomore and he was a junior although we went to different schools. So we have been together a little over 14 years. We have been married for almost 9 yrs in June. Yes we have two boys ages 8 and 4. I have been with him for pretty much half of my life. Our history is a long one but we did seperate when our first son was about 1 yr because I couldn't live with him anymore he was verbally abusive and didn't care about the marriage. After I left he changed his ways though, we were seperated for about 3 months. His mom has been married 3 times and her second husband was verbally and mentally abusive as well as physically. He is not physically abusive to me and never has been. I think in my opinion he likes going back and forth with fighting, I think he thrives on it to be honest.
i understand that, katie. sometimes i think my H creates drama in his life because of the stimulation - he often makes things a lot harder than they should be. we've separated once before for about a month early in our M and we broke up twice before even getting engaged...all impulsive decisions made by him. then a few weeks later, he'd come chase me down, crying and making promises.
some people just tend to surround themselves with drama. i can't live like that. if your H changed his ways after the first separation, what happened with that this time around?
Me30 H29 M2.5 T5 H moved out 1/23/2010 H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010 ...feeling hopeless
Not sure to be honest. He now tells me that he realizes what he has done to me over the past years and thinks I deserve better. He tells me he hates himself and can't forgive himself for all of the stuff he has done. The thing I don't get is he made a big deal about how I was in such a great mood all the time even with all this stuff going on with us and how it bothered him so much yet if he didn't care then he wouldn't have even said anything to me about it?
