Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Took my wife for granted, now she is done. help!

"I understand how you could feel that way. I won't do something that goes against my beliefs and values that's why I have decided I will not file for divorce."


Your wife does see you changing but she needs to feel secure that your changes are for real. This is where the consistency in your actions is your proof. Expect to be tested on your changes.

Thanks guys,

Trying to stay strong and consistant. Tough but I feel it's the right thing to do.

Such mixed signals today

one minute she is telling me she can't do this anymore, she can't trust her heart to me and then she is stroking my hair, hugging and telling me she misses me and wishes it would all work out.?!!!

What?

Tell her, "I am right here. how can I help you with that?"

Tattoo. I am dealing with almost exactly the same thing right now... I can totally relate.


You guys are helping me out and you didn't even know it.

How do I respond to "you owe it to me to get a divorce, because of your actions, now I want out. Man up and get a L and file papers!"

I told her I was being a man by fighting for my M and not running away from it. She wants me to do the work and maybe look like the instigator.

How do I proceed? What would / have you done?

My stance from the beginning has been that I don't want a divorce, this was her decision, and she can handle it herself.

I know that it has happened when a LBH has filed and that has caused the WAW to face reality and reconsider, but I think your sitch is still to early on for that, really.

Take my advice with a big ol grain of salt, too, cause I'm in the throws of this myself and am making mistakes.

I haven't fought with my wife about the divorce. I've always told her that shes gotta do what shes gotta do. I told her that if that's what she needed to do, then fine, go for it, I'll sign the papers and I'll be fine.

Now, give me a few more months of roller-coaster and I might be singing a different tune and file myself, And be done with her, but for now, the D is on her and her alone, and everyone knows it.

I think giving into her and filing, even if you really don't want to, and are only doing it because she talked to you like that is actually the exact opposite of "manning up".

I know I am trying to 180 in alot of ways and one of them is to not walk out when conversations get heated but tonight w had several drinks and begins to ramble and she wouldn't let up tonight. I stayed calm and didn't get defensive but eventually I had to leave the room. It was just too much and I knew I was loosing my cool.

Too much of a step back or was I good to know when to walk away?

Sounds like a good reason to quit drinking. Seriously, in the situation you are in, do you think it's going to get better if you just add alcohol?

Your probably right, interested to see her view of the night in the daylight.