coming up with lots of self examination lately and really not liking what i am finding out about myself
i wish i had a friend i could work thru this with, namely my husband
oh well, time marches on
kitti
Kitti,
It's always a bummer to think about one's faults. If it helps, remind yourself that you have the courage and character to go through this difficulty to become a better person. Everyone has their faults. The strong people try to face their faults and correct them.
Quote: i wish i had a friend i could work thru this with, namely my husband
Hey, at least you have all of us!
Gave Sage your hug, BTW. She's a great girl - as were all the Boston crew. I really enjoyed meeting Jackie, Dotto, Acorn, Sage, and seeing March Hare again. Wish they all lived closer so we could get together on a regular basis.
Found a few quotes for you in hopes they help boost the PMA. (Didn't want to stick with the song lyrics theme):
"Only a brave person is willing to honestly admit, and fearlessly to face, what a sincere and logical mind discovers." -- Rodan of Alexandria
"A woman of mystique is fully aware of her flaws and weaknesses, yet she is strong enough to admit them and not be embarrassed by them." -- Jean Lush
"It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character." -- Dr. Dale E. Turner
"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest." -- Confucius
"Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure." -- William Saroyan
how utterly thoughtful of you to post those quotes. thank you so much. {{{chl}}}
they all fit so well - this so goes back to my seeing negativity in my sitch, when really i should be seeing the positives, which include me discovering myself.
no kidding jeannine, those quotes were astonding. they helped me focus on what is real and not was is imagined - i am printing those up and putting them next to my computer
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
Quote: he just called a few minutes ago to have me start to put my thinking cap on on better shipping methods
If you need any help with that, let me know (via email?), its part of what I do for a livin'.
Ya know, I think that's why so few people examine themself to closely ... they don't want to bum themselves out, but it take personal fortitude to be honest with yourself in order to seek a better life for yourself.
Kitti, you may not recognize it yet but you have already taken the first steps to break the cycle that has prevented you from achieving those long term goals that has led to all those perceptions you have about yourself and others.
Next is to change your perception from not being able to change things ... to accepting that you can change what you control and that any seemingly minute change on your part can have a butterfly effect that will alter the future outcomes from repeating those of the past.
As an example, the fact that you moved around alot is something you had no control over, but what you could change is how you focused on your feelings. Instead, as in the past, of focusing on the pain of the physical seperation the friendship/relationship has now taken on, you could decide to focus on what efforts you can do towards the goal of making the friendship survive despite the distance between you now. Instead of regretting over letting such friendships end, you could then take comfort in the fact that it still exists. Upon working at what you do to make those goals reality will change your perception about the power you have to change "things" and that everyone has this power.
Quote: so in reference to this relationship, i go back to believing that i can't change things. oh yeah, i see forward movement, but do i see a reaching of a goal? NO - that i can say quite honestly i can't. i see hubby and i not ending up spending our lives together. that is the ultimate goal i see
If you can accept that you can change what you control and that will lead to the butterfly effect which will alter the future, then we can address how you can visualize your ultimate goal and that starts by breaking down that goal into intermediate goals that as you work on making them happen will show you are well along the way.
So to picture your ultimate goal - "i see hubby and i not ending up spending our lives together", start to break it down to what is it you see in the R that tells you that you are on the path to spending your lives together and these become your intermediate goals. Then put the binoculars away and focus on these near term goals. As you obtain these one by one, you will no longer have a need for those binoculars because you'll have moved close enough to shift your perception to seeing that its all within reach.
As I said, you have already taken the first steps. Give yourself time for the journey to personal growth based upon your self-examination to unfold and you will begin to see you are heading in the direction you desire to go.
