James, I think you need to start focusing on some practical issues. When is your appt. to get a firm diagnosis on diabetes? If you think you are diabetic then why not go to the drugstore (I know for a fact Walgreens has them) and purchase an at home glucose monitor so you can track things several times a day?
My FIL is diabetic, he has been since the age of 20 and he never just "passes out" and is fine after. When will you see the dr. to find out what is going on with your blood sugar? What date? What time? What arrangements have you made for transportation?
I am not sure what the point of talking to a mutual friend was. Involving friends, especially mutual ones as "allies" rarely works in your favor. Your W is not who she used to be and she might never be that person again. Yes, it hurts but right now that is what you have to work with.
Until you accept that focusing on your W will not help there is really not much anybody can say that will help you get on a better path.
James, I've not posted to you before, but have followed your sitch.
YOU MUST listen to CG above about the diabetes, I don't know what's up, if you have received a definitive diagnosis....BUT you have got to take care of you and stop the attention seeking behavior trying to draw your wife into doing it. IT ISNT WORKING. IF you have diabetes, this is a matter of life and death. I have a 15 year old son diagnosed with Type 1 five years ago...CG is right....NO ONE, I repeat no one, goes in and out of insulin reactions/hyperglycemia without assistance and is ok. It seems odd that you would be having an insulin reaction (low blood sugar) since you are not on insulin UNLESS you are drinking a lot/binge drinking (alcohol lowers blood sugar and it can be to a potentially deadly level). certain types of tumors can also cause low blood sugar, but that seems unlikely, as again it wouldnt resolve on it's own. IF your blood sugar is so high as to be causing the effects, you would not come out of it from drinking water and not eating.
Dude, you need to get yourself to medical care NOW. NOW. call 911 and go to an emergency room. This is not the time to worry about finances. THIS IS A MEDICAL EMERGENCY....DO NOT FOOL AROUND with diabetic reactions.
If you need a resource for outpatient care, there are safety net clinics across the country to provide care at fees based on ability to pay. I don't know where you live to find the info for you but you can find a resource here: http://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov/
I am not a medical professional, but I've had to go toe to toe and nose to nose with diabetic emergencies more times than i wish to recall.
I repeat. If you are losing conciousness, this is a MEDICAL EMERGENCY. GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. quit fooling around waiting on your wife and talking to "friends" and DO IT.
FWIW, if it is determined that your reactions are due to diabetes: Kroger, which I believe is a nation wide grocery chain, has decent electronic glucose testing kits complete with test strips for $15; sometimes on sale for $10. They work fine.
there is a wealth of information from the American Diabetes Association at www.diabetes.org
I am sorry to hear you had a rough night and I hope today is a better day for you.
Originally Posted By: james217
Now lets look at that comment. Im just having a seizure. No text or call to make sure your H is ok. No signs of concern. No phone call to any of my family members especially knowing that they work and I’m the only one here. Not a single thing. That hurts like hell but what can I do? Obviously she does not care about me anymore. This woman has seen me in the hospital because of this and you don’t even check to see if I’m alright.
I am going to say this again...Actually Trent should be here saying it because he reminds me of this about 67 times a week - You are expecting the W you knew to respond - She isn't that person right now...The person she is now doesn't care - I know that isn't what you want to hear however I am not here to sugarcoat it for you...She doesn't care in the frame of mind she is in and the quicker you can understand that, the better off you will be.
Originally Posted By: james217
Even throughout our separation I have been there for her whenever she’s needed me.
No matter how hard it is - Stop. Doing. This.
You need a better support system then you have in place right now...You need to be able to draw strength when your reserve is running low...I surround myself with people who respect my decision...People who won't allow me to have pity parties all day long...People who love me and care for my well-being...Believe it or not the majority of my supporters are people I have met here...Each one has something different to offer...
Some take a kind and gentle approach while others don't...They all mesh well with me and my circumstances and because of their support I am where I am today...These are people whom I have never met IRL yet would do anything in the world for...
I still have my Pastor...My Church family...My MIL...My family etc...However they don't know exactly how I am feeling and the ones here do...
Originally Posted By: james217
I’ll have to figure out how to deal with this stuff on my own.
Based on what I have read from you, you know you are never alone...He is right there waiting for you to cast your burdens on Him instead of trying to do it on your own...
That was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn - I had to get to the point where I was on my knees begging Him to take it from me because I couldn't do it on my own anymore.
My Faith is still tested however I am learning as I walk...It gets easier to turn it over to Him with practice.
Remember what I said yesterday - This is your choice...Choose joy or choose sorrow.
(((((Hugs)))))
thanks for the reply. Yep it's hard to accept. I know i'm not totally the same person I used to be, but damn I still care about those that matter.
I'm trying to be positive I really am, but it's extremely hard. It's the entire sitch. Not just WAW (maybe 50 percent or a little more), our children, my family, the health issues, losing the job, facing surgery. It's so much.
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
Are you familiar with the Full surrender prayer. Google it, look it up, I think it is time you let "God" handle this for you. Take care of your responsibilites and let go of the other stuff. It is hard I know, but you are cared about by many people and it shows great strength to acknowledge when things are more than you can bare. I felt similar things to what you did, and to this day realize I can not handle this worlds issues without the Good Lord's guidance and grace. Peace and Prosperity, do not be hard on yourself and you are what you think.
Think of yourself as an overcomer waiting to blossom, not a victim and better days are ahead. Know he will answer your prayers, in "His" time, trust and have faith. Once you hold on to hope and faith and let go of what was or what happened, he can go to work on you and transform things in ways you can not imagine. It will be good! Peace and Prosperity to you James 217
I just googled it. I'm familiar with it. Here's the thing. Im starting to question my faith period. How can God make love and take it away? My family is totally messed up. Why would he allow that? I love my family. WHy do I have all these disabilities? Why does God allow these types of sicknesses to exist? Why? lately that's all I ask.
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
James, I think you need to start focusing on some practical issues. When is your appt. to get a firm diagnosis on diabetes? If you think you are diabetic then why not go to the drugstore (I know for a fact Walgreens has them) and purchase an at home glucose monitor so you can track things several times a day?
My FIL is diabetic, he has been since the age of 20 and he never just "passes out" and is fine after. When will you see the dr. to find out what is going on with your blood sugar? What date? What time? What arrangements have you made for transportation?
I am not sure what the point of talking to a mutual friend was. Involving friends, especially mutual ones as "allies" rarely works in your favor. Your W is not who she used to be and she might never be that person again. Yes, it hurts but right now that is what you have to work with.
Until you accept that focusing on your W will not help there is really not much anybody can say that will help you get on a better path.
You are getting amazing support here.
There is no date set. I just consistently get the run around. I've pretty much almost given up on getting any of this stuff fixed.
My blood sugar is usually very high. it's been over 300. it doesn't even have to be that high for me to get sick. 250 plus and I'm in trouble.
So then I get sick. Half the time I don't even know I'm acting that way. This is all so new to me. Oh I know I have diabetes. I had a physical and the doctor told me.
When I was in the hospital april 19th I was told the same thing.
Most of the time when I pass out I'm not fine. My feet and hands still tingle I still feel dizzy and have headaches. I havent felt "fine" for about a year but nobody could tell me what was wrong.
I knew about the eye condition but not this. I'm just waiting and trying to take care of business.
I'm totally overwhelmed by all of this. even thinking about trying to fix this stuff drains the life out of me because I've spent so much time trying to fix it and I feel like i'm getting nowhere.
I'm very very tired.
Ill get the kit. But still no meds to control it. I am terrified of needles. I cannot stand them or the sight of blood. It's something i'm going to get used to I guess.
If I have to have insulin and take the shot I don't know how I'll deal with it.
I'm trypanophobic? I think that's the word.
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
James, I've not posted to you before, but have followed your sitch.
YOU MUST listen to CG above about the diabetes, I don't know what's up, if you have received a definitive diagnosis....BUT you have got to take care of you and stop the attention seeking behavior trying to draw your wife into doing it. IT ISNT WORKING. IF you have diabetes, this is a matter of life and death. I have a 15 year old son diagnosed with Type 1 five years ago...CG is right....NO ONE, I repeat no one, goes in and out of insulin reactions/hyperglycemia without assistance and is ok. It seems odd that you would be having an insulin reaction (low blood sugar) since you are not on insulin UNLESS you are drinking a lot/binge drinking (alcohol lowers blood sugar and it can be to a potentially deadly level). certain types of tumors can also cause low blood sugar, but that seems unlikely, as again it wouldnt resolve on it's own. IF your blood sugar is so high as to be causing the effects, you would not come out of it from drinking water and not eating.
Dude, you need to get yourself to medical care NOW. NOW. call 911 and go to an emergency room. This is not the time to worry about finances. THIS IS A MEDICAL EMERGENCY....DO NOT FOOL AROUND with diabetic reactions.
If you need a resource for outpatient care, there are safety net clinics across the country to provide care at fees based on ability to pay. I don't know where you live to find the info for you but you can find a resource here: http://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov/
I am not a medical professional, but I've had to go toe to toe and nose to nose with diabetic emergencies more times than i wish to recall.
I repeat. If you are losing conciousness, this is a MEDICAL EMERGENCY. GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. quit fooling around waiting on your wife and talking to "friends" and DO IT.
it's usually too high. highest I think it has been is maybe 543? When I was in the hospital on april 19th it was 296. It's rarely rarely low.
But I have been fasting and not eating so I don't know. I eat maybe once a day most of the time. I don't drink. Never have been much of a drinker.
thank you for the diabetic website. I'm reading it now.
Also I've had a stomach virus or something and couldn't hold anything down at all. Not water not anything. I think due to me overdosing (but even before then) I don't know anymore.
I just know I'm tired. frustrated and I feel like quitting. I don't think I have the strength or fight anymore to want to have to battle ANOTHER DISABILITY.
I really honestly sincerely truly hate my life.
Even if I would not have been thinking about cancelling counseling today, she was sick and I could not see her anywaz.
I've already been in the hospital. I was passed out for about an hour and a half and unconscious and they just gave me an i.v. ran some tests on my brain told me my blood sugar was 296 and then sent me home.
I'm trying to get insurance and I'm also trying to get my other stuff taken care of but i'm very TICKED OFF
I honestly don't want to do this anymore.
I don't see how C.G. and Serenity cope. i've have gotten so damn broken burnt out and i'm not motivated. This is not like me. I never used to want to just rol over but what am I fighting for?
Another day of pain misery suffering hurting and disabilities and dealing with it all alone?
The people here are so kind and great. I mean it. I wish I had friends like you guys IRL.
I just don't know if I want to do this crap anymore.
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
FWIW, if it is determined that your reactions are due to diabetes: Kroger, which I believe is a nation wide grocery chain, has decent electronic glucose testing kits complete with test strips for $15; sometimes on sale for $10. They work fine.
there is a wealth of information from the American Diabetes Association at www.diabetes.org
they feel like my reactions are due to the diabetes. but I also still have to see a neurologist for the seizures.
i'm get the kit but i'm AM TERRIFIED OF NEEDLES. I CANNOT STAND THEM.
what did I do to deserve all of this. I dont want to live this way. Why can't I just be a normal healthy person.
*contemplates throwing laptop and phone against the wall*
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
