Saturday... I gave H D papers on Saturday after sons' soccer game...They were copies because there was some missing information that I needed from him...I explained that it wasn't the hard copy yet and I had marked the pages where he needed to fill out...He took the box they were in and threw it into the back of his car...
After the game he took little man and headed to the mall while I headed out with my Mom to the grocery store...Not 2 hours later I get a text asking where I am...I told him and he said ok I will bring little man there - I am thinking WTF you haven't seen him in 2 weeks and you haven't even had him 2 hours however I refuse to allow my sons to be in the middle so I agreed. So he drops him off...
Texts me about 20 minutes later to apologize for not keeping him longer and tells me he was getting a severe headache...Being the nice person I am I told him if he would have let me know I would have brought some meds out to him when he dropped little man off...That text went into him sexually flirting with me which caught me off guard...I won't go into detail on that however it didn't last very long then all went silent...
Saturday Night.... My oldest spent the night with me and we stayed up late talking about everything...He is unhappy over there, wants to come home etc...On that subject I stuck to my guns...
I found out H and the OW have been house-hunting and found a 5 bedroom house w/pool to buy together...I found out that troll has been using my son as basically her therapist...
She keeps telling him how proud she is that her and my H found each other again after being apart for so long...When she spends the night at my H apartment, she sleeps on the couch and tells my son she refuses to sleep with H as long as we are still married and she wants us to divorce however doesn't want to influence his decision...
My H has our son doing his community service with her and when people come by and ask her who S is, she introduces him as her boyfriends' son which apparently is uncomfortable to my S...She asks S why she hasn't been introduced to little man yet, she has painted a picture of how H and her got back together with the blame of H contacting her first...
On and on until I thought my head would explode...It took everything I had not to get in the car, drive over to her place and beat her down...
Sunday... Started out well...I was still reeling from the information I had learned the night before...My oldest and I went to Church and H was coming to get S at 4...We hung out after Church til H got there...Once he got there I went out to the car to ask for the insurance cards for little man and I...
He gave me the cards as both boys walked down the driveway...He waited until S got in the car and little man was standing beside me to hand me back the D papers with the words he wasn't signing them...He didn't agree with the numbers (ie: child support/retirement)...I told him that was state regulated and there was nothing I could do about it...
There are several pages in there stating what he would pay based on his pay...Said it wasn't going to happen...I could have him served by the sheriff and he still wouldn't sign them...I stood there with a smile on my face as he yelled at me in front of the boys...
I made little man go inside and managed to tell H through a smile that he has had 15 months to take care of this and he has done nothing to move forward...
I was ready for my life to move forward without him and if he wanted to sit over there and save the whale (ie: fat troll) then so be it however I was no longer an option for him and I will proceed without him...I turned and walked away with that damn smile on my face, as he sat in his car still yelling at me...
My oldest sent me a text about 10 minutes later apologizing to me for his Dad being such an A-Hole...
I appreciated that however told him it wasn't his place and I was sorry him and his brother had to witness that...
Little man was in tears last night wanting to know why Daddy was being so mean to me & what he could do to "fix" Daddy so he would love us again...
I just rubbed his back til he went to sleep...
Not a great ending to what should have been a great day...
I hope the rest of you fantastic Mothers' had a wonderful day!!
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
I am so sorry that your Mother's Day turned out that way. Good for you for standing your ground with H, all while still processing so much difficult information from the night before. Were you able to give your older S some ideas of how to set boundaries with OW? The way she is pulling him in to the situation is unacceptable. Your S shouldn't be put in that situation, but since your H obviously isn't stepping up to protect him from that, he might need some tools for how to do that for himself.
I hope you managed to do some nice things for yourself yesterday and that today brings you some peace of mind and strength.
Well, it seems he is a jerk! Oh, wait! We already knew that!
I guess it's time to just let your attorney work. Have H served by the Sheriff. The thing that may turn out to be good for you is that I don't think he understands the process, which can only work to your advantage. He doesn't get that accepting service doesn't mean he agrees with the settlement. I have a feeling he is the sort to cut off his nose to spite his face... to the point that he will try to fight the unfightable (like CS numbers) which is just going to hurt him in other areas, I would bet.
Stay on the high road, but try to limit contact with him even more, I think. Since he is around the kids (if only a little), and since the mere thought of you seems to send him into a tizzy, it can't hurt to stay away!
You handled yourself with incredible grace this weekend. I am sorry your children had to witness what they did but you were their rock and they will always know that.
Ugh, I hate that you had a bad weekend too! Kudos for handling yourself so well. I know it's difficult to tell your oldest he has to stay with his dad, especially considering all he told you about OW. But know that you're doing the right thing for him, you and youngest son.
Keep up the good work, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Thank you my friend....I did sit with S and let him know what he could/couldn't do/say to OW...It was heartbreaking to know that skeevy troll was pulling my S into conversations that are none of his business...
I showed him some pages I had on boundaries and let him know how to implement them and how it most likely won't "take" the first few times however he needed to be consistant and eventually it would sink into her head...
That was a conversation I never wanted to have with my S.
After a 2 hour conversation with my MIL, I just went to bed...I was drained and wanted the day to be done with...
Today is a new day with new beginnings
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
