Definitely not too much, they were there for me before this and thru this and I won't leave them now. They're the balance in my life.
One of my changes while S was gone, was to have friends over more often, which I really enjoy doing. I want to keep doing this and now that H is back I can include the spouses. Of course, not right away but eventually.
YA-HOO! This is great news! Keep doing what you were doing. He must have liked it enough to come home to it. CONGRATULATIONS!!! We are all pulling for you! Rachael
Maybe this is a good time to look back and write down the things that you have been doing during the separation that improved the relationship and improved how you felt about yourself. Put them to paper while they are fresh in your head so you have a nice roadmap to how you got to where you are and something to refer to if you ever feel the need.
I'll do this, because they are fresh in my head. I have to keep doing them, too, don't I? Don't want to go back to that OTHER me.
This is still hard to get used to, I mean H is back. He didn't come home right after work, I figured he had to work late, which he did, but he also stopped off at OW's house. I thought maybe he was picking more of his stuff up, but not the case as he didn't have anything in his truck. On the phone he did say "I worked late and then stopped OW's" I didn't say anything at all and H said I'll be there shortly.
So I have no idea why he stopped there, I am kind of curious but I figure in time he'll tell me.
We had a pretty low key night, ordered dinner to go, ate. H was beat so went to bed early, tried to get S to lay with him, but S just wasn't tired and he thrashes around so much when he is trying to go down so H kicked S out eventually.
So H was asleep by 9 o'clock. I really didn't feel like going to bed, one of the habits I had gotten into before this all happened was to let H got bed and then I'd stay up. It was my time. Last night I did stay up for a little bit but then decided to go to bed, if no other reason than to be by H. He was sound asleep, but it just felt nice. Also, I used to be very tired all the time before this happened. On the weekends I just wanted to sleep, must have been part of my depression that I'm in during the winter. I'm find I like staying up a little later now. I go to sleep faster. It usually takes me awhile to fall asleep. I don't want to get in the habit of going to bed too early anymore. My H can fall asleep just like that! H can be talking one minute and then asleep.
Now today H is working. H is going up to his parents to hunt after work, SS19 is already up there. I wanted to hunt today, but don't if I will. If I do then S3 will have to stay at my sister's and I'lll have to drive back tonight. H will stay up there which is fine, but I really want to be with H this weekend. So I'm thinking of skipping hunting and just going along anyway. Now I feel like I have to ask my H, isn' that weird?
I'm still in the "H is gone mode" and I have to be careful what I ask him to do with me..do you know what I mean? Since this all happened we have not done anything together at all, other than ML, but we have had no dates or anything!!
Another problem, should I touch him, should I kiss him, should I give him hugs, I just don't know what to do? His issue of no affection was a big problem before. I'm just kind of stuck on this and how I should act around him at this point..
I did notice last night that H was very nice, I don't know if that makes sense, but he was definitely in tune to the new me and very relaxed maybe is the word.
OMG the pressure!!! I guess I can't just expect everything to change instantly can I? Should I tell H ILY? I don't know if he'll say it back or not, but I do love H...OMG the pressure...any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.
