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So it is safe to say that, at minimum, W is having EA. It may in your best interest to not believe anything W says at this time.

I think you are correct about the EA. Seems as if she is trying to distance herself from OM, but who knows what the truth is? I know he is applying lots of pressure. I am doing my best to stay out of the way- this is her demon to wrestle with. I have to put it out of my mind and try to move forward on my own. This is excruciatingly painful.

If he's putting pressure on her... Uhm... that'll back fire. She'll have a new "demon" to attach her unhappiness to when being "single" doesn't quite match her expectations.

Abbey

Abbey:
Can only hope that is the case. Trying to move forward, be there for her when I can, but not be overly available, if that makes sense.

The rollercoaster continues.

any chance?

Not overly available. Exactly.

My H went RIGHT off the rails. I mean, I can't really put into words the amount of people who were stunned by the contrast of who he "became" when we separated. (we live in a small community).

That rollercoaster ride will continue for a while... just keep your distance enough that she doesn't associate you with it's ride, once she's through with it.

Abbey

Thanks, Abbey. W is struggling with lots of issues - depression, desire for D, pressure from potential OM, work spiraling out of control, loss of friends, etc, etc. My IC referred to it as 'tumbling' and advised me not to get caught up in it. Don't know when the tumble/rollercoaster ride will end - just hope is does someday, if only for her mental health and stability. Despite it all, I do love her very much, which makes it that much harder. Maybe I am just a sap.

Nah, you're not a sap. Your brain is on straight, her's at the moment is not.

FWIW, I'm even inclined to wonder when my H went head first off the rails, if there wasn't an OTC supplement helping him stay squirrelly. Some "hard core" whatever from one of those muscle puffer places. He wasn't the same person, at all. It was one of the "things" that I required him to give up, if he wanted me back.

Depression on the other hand is such a tricky thing,... that said,... she's not going to find the massive happiness on the other side of the fence. That's a bonus on your side,... she's going to have that reality. Can't recall, but does she do therapy?

Abbey

She does do IC, about once a month or so. Sometimes she likes the IC, sometimes not. Seems to have developed a good relationship with her therapist.

Thanks for you thoughts. Badly needed at this point of the rollercoaster. Appreciate you checking in.

Another down day. W appears to be continuing her EA. She tells me she wants to distance herself from OM, but that does not seem to be happening. I am attempting to GAL and move on, but it is incredibly difficult. How long before all hope is gone and I just blow it off and move on?

Good morning, Anychance. Thanks again for the support on my thread. It's so greatly appreciated and I can't express my relief for it, when I feel so alone in dealing with things right now. In my thread this morning, you mentioned the concept of reaching into your soul for the inner strength to propel ourselves forward. I thought that was a good approach and deserves some extra thought:

Tell me, I'm sure there's been other crises in your life in which you've had to find that strength (heck I know I've had times like that). Have you had any times like that? What strengths did you find to draw upon and how did they benefit you and help you work through it? Maybe we should both consider that today... I know in MWD's books, she always speaks to coming to be aware of your strengths, and using them to work through conflict.

I don't know, just a thought I guess! What do you think?