Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis I am back...and finding me

of course! thank you as well for taking time to post to me and so thoughtfully. it really helps to have a support network that really understands.

i am rooting for you no matter what happens!

Interesting night last night. W sends me a txt that she needs to speak to me (FTR - I am still in the house but I was out running a few errands). I called her back and asked what she needed. She said that I need to speak to you in person. The jist of the conversation was regarding the kids. She now apparently wants to improve communication about them. I agreed and also indicated that given her changing work schedule and need to "work late" sometime that I am trying to be as fexiable as possible. We ended up having some R discussions, specifically re the D. My position was pretty clear and I thought dealt with very well. I suspect that the realty of all of this is starting to dawn on her. We both agreed that since we do not trust each other it is best to let the L's communicate. I committed to being fair and just in the process. I also explained that since she has decided to go the legal route that everything I do must be done with a legal impact thought process. The conversation was civil. FWIW - I was proud of myself... very proud. My emotions were in check.

It is great that you both have some agreement. Letting L's work the fine details will definitely allow you both to still remain friendly after.

Who knows what may go through her mind as the D finalization date approaches. She may realize that Eric has changed and is a pretty darn good guy.

If she's smart she will.

By far the hardest thing to do is to manage our own anxiety. I hate those "I need to talk to you moments". Never seems to be anything good even if we hope and wish and pray that they had a huge epiphany. Think that may even make it worse if we are hoping for something good.

You did good my friend. FWIW...I'm proud of you too!

C-bart said-

By far the hardest thing to do is to manage our own anxiety. I hate those "I need to talk to you moments". Never seems to be anything good even if we hope and wish and pray that they had a huge epiphany. Think that may even make it worse if we are hoping for something good.

That is so true...the last convo I had with H set be back! It was Sat. and it is now Wed and my PMA is finally back to where it was last week!

Sounds like you are doing good eric!

Kerry

Thank you for the encourgement. Right now, I have no expectations. At this point I would like to salvage an amicable R for the kids.

As wierd as this sounds I hope she finds what she is looking for.

Eric

Finally nice weather in the north east. GAL'ing my butt off. I miss my kids but I know that Daddy needs to be whole again.

Received a letter from the attny - W wants me to pay all household expenses and also pay alimony and child support before the actual D. WTF!!! I'm tryting not to let it get to me. I continue to leave the legalities to the L's. According to the filing I will be D'd in mid August.

Have not really spoken to W since our last convo with the exception of a convo re: the kids. Looks like she now feels like being a poarent again. She made a comment that implied that I am trying to get the kids on my side. Also said the kids should be first in this process. I agreed but thought...well if the kids should be first shouldn't you have given MC a little more time than 3 session.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

Eric

So today I spoke with W re: the D.....

She has file a motion requesting that I pay ALL household expenses, alimony and support prior to the D being finalized. My L has filed a counter motion. I asked W to consider a collaberative approach and suggested that she speak with her L about this. I also made my position clear again about a 50/50 split with the kids. She finally answered me and said NO. She does not want to let me have the kids 50/50. I explained to her that right now I take my D to school everyday and that the flexiability that I have with my job allows me to do this. She counter by saying that she has a "back up" that can do this.

I was quite pissed off but continue to be pleasent. I REFUSE to allow her to control my emotions. I just find it very fustrating that if this is about the kids why she is reluctant to split them. I am also a little pissed at myself because I probably should have take an aggressive approach much ealier in this process but hey - I will continue to try and do what is right.

Feeling pretty crappy today. I will contact my L and let her know that W is not willing to agree to a 50/50 split.

It interesting....I look at W now and feel sorry for her. I feel sorry that she is running. I can see clearly now that I am dealing with an angry teenager who feels that she is entitled to everything. I believe in my heart that one day she will realize the impact of her actions but that is her cross to bear. I also feel for the kids, specifically my D. I will do the best I can to continue to be the best Dad that I can be - this I control...the rest I leave up to God.

God Bless,
Eric

Stand strong on this Eric and keep your nose clean. It's completely selfish to think that your children would be better off without you in their life equally. She is not thinking of them. Hopefully the judge will.



Good man. Keep your emotions in check.




All the legal BS of this can and will drag you down. You gotta fight it. Stay positive and productive!