Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Time for darkness.... (thread number 3)ears open

No contact includes going out to eat, kissing, hugging and sharing what you are doing with new friends?

Why couldn't you just transfer or mail her allowance? Was seeing her *really* necessary? (no, it wasn't).

Did she provide you with her weekly report on her job hunt before you gave her the allowance?

I am really confused as to what you are doing.

[quote=CityGirl]

Yea I know c.g. and yes she did she had an interview today. I was in a hurry I had gotten off work and my dad dropped me off. I hadn't eaten either so we ate.

Here's the rest *really crazy*

She and I start argueing about s10. It was a discussion of like 15 mins. Then she goes to sleep I'm going to call taxi for quick trip home. I'm not on busline and dad was sleep.

So she had started handing me cards back on joint accounts and her phone. I figured out her code and see more p.a. (one or two two being a maybe)and like 2 e.as in her texr messages.

She wakes up and asks what I'm doing. I say so much for honesty and show her everything.

She starts ranting and raving about how she deserves to be a slut doesn't deserve real love or her family cause she's a fucc up and ruined everyones life and no one will miss her.

This is right after she took the meds she's supposed to take to prevent epileptic seizures but with an antidepressant which she never got or switching the pill.

She starts screaming and hollering telling me to get out and I'm grabbing my things. She starts pushing I restrain her. She grabs my phone and says she's going to chunk ot out the window which she opens.

I'm calm. I tell her this is enough and grab motel phone and dial 911 so she can get some help because she also took more of her epilepsy meds stating she doesn't want to live without sd8.

I state we can fix it cause I've talked to lawyers and her sig is null and void without medical poa there while she's under doctors care.

She runs out the room and takes my phone dialing 911 stating she is not going to mental facility

Police show up and make me leave property. I explain that she needs an ambulance immediately. They say she's fine.

I leave property and call ems and the police pop up and frisk me and give me a ticket stating I abused 911 because they checked her out. I explain some more.

They tell me to go home I state that's what I was doing I was walking and calling ems. They say if I call another ambulance tonight they will put me in jail

So waw calls me from motel phone. She can't find her id or unemployment check card.

I stsate I don't have it and I'm calling taxi.

She comes out and they let both of us look in backpack waw accidently gave me those items when she gave me all of those other atm cards.

She asks for phone I say no. The police state its community property and she leaves. Police and I both state how ridiculous this is and they now see what I'm talk about.

I was on phone with friend at this time. I call waw to check on her and make sure she hasn't passed out or had a seizure. She rants and raves about god hating her, how she is a cheap slut because she doesn't care about anything anymore. More suicide talk more talk of pills more talk of final arrangements and family not missing her

Found out I didn't have a job that morning. I start calling lawyers because waw mom is calling her phone and I try to call motel room for job interview waw has.

No answer for hours I got to precinct fill out medicall illness warrant and its notarized and judge signs it.

The police and I lure waw out of room and she's cuffed and taken to psyc ward


Happy bday to me!!!

Look, I am very sorry all this happened. At this point I really don't know how much assistance I can be to you.

This is going to come across as cold but really I think it needs to be said. ALL of this could have been avoided had you not gone out with your W last night. Now maybe she still would have gone off the deep end but at least you would not have been involved.

We had discussed prior to this post you being prepared with always having food on you due to your diabetes. So, you being hungry when you saw your W therefore "needing" to go out and eat (even if it was for your b-day) was unnecessary. In fact, had you just mailed or transferred her support money you would have not been part of this wild night.

You chose to break no contact and look what happened TO YOU. You say you are trying to get your children back. Do you think being involved in the scenario you shared above is helpful to that cause. Do you think having an Informal Marriage to a highly unstable woman is helpful to the cause of regaining some sort of custody of your children? You know the answer to both of those questions.

You snooped in her phone, saw evidence she is still carrying on with other men. What could you have done differently? You should have simply walked out, left and said nothing more. You had your answer and fighting with her about it got you nowhere.

You will not get healthy or ever get your children back if you continue to associate with this woman. Every exchange you have with your WAW should be prefaced with the thought "will this help my main goal of getting my children back?". 9 times out of 10 the answer will be no.

Yes I know. I'm glad she's getting help though. She refuses to let the nurses provide me or anyone with any info. That's fine I expect het to get mad. Doesn't matter to me.

She's already went off the deep end once like this. She was in facility for 5 to 7 days but she did not follow up with outpatient care or antidepressants.

I'm glad I was therem. No one else knows her medical history and I would not have taken the appropriate necessary action needed if she didn't fly off the deep end this morning.

Nothing happened to me really just a ticket that will get dismissed. They always assume domestic violence at first so the police did their job except the ems part.

I'm just going to get all my health stuff out the way and focus on the kids. If she gets mad she gets mad I don't care about that.

My hands r washed of the situation

I am glad she is in the hospital. Once she is released if she chooses not to follow up with outpatient care then you have your answer about how serious she is with turning her life around.

And I have to disagree about the ticket. It is a big deal and creates another "red flag" to your case with the children.

Get your own health in order. How will you do that? When do you expect to have some answers about your surgery? What will you be doing to get your children back? How will you continue to pay child support w/o a job? Focus on that stuff!

I agree, once again, with CityGirl.

James... I feel like you are constantly going in circles. You continue to ask for help but you don't take anyone's advice.

This woman is literally killing you and pulling you down lower and lower.

Look at what she does to her own flesh and blood?!?!? She is totally out of control and you need to just work on yourself and get yourself in order and let her do the same for herself.

Take this time, while she is in medical care, to work on you and get yourself in order.

Please, please do not subject your C to any of that again. It breaks my heart.

Good luck and Happy Birthday!

Going in circles is a good way to put it.

James, I think you have a golden opportunity to really get your head on straight while your W is getting in patient medical treatment. You need to come first, your children need to come second and your W needs to be a very distant third.

I can't say I understand why you took this job knowing you would not be able to follow through or why any kind of attny would even advise such a thing. I can't understand why you keep engaging with your WAW.

I guess I am really frustrated with you. I hear so many excuses and you seem to shun the healthy things in your life and cling to the very unhealthy. Can you help me understand without any excuses as to why?

Well the ticket and the procedure was incorrect. I just called ems and the officer issued it. I talked to the police department and they will drop it and remove it from my license. I wish it didn't happen though.

keep losing the weight. I can go see the neurologist and the other doctors and get approved for the surgery. Get that done and I can go back to work even with the 16 eye stitches.

I think she will hate me forever for putting her in there. last time she checked herself in but did not follow up. maybe someone can get through. Who knows

The main reason I took the job was to try to catch up on child support. Plus I've been denied disability benefits two times already and they recommended trying to work. I really wanted to. I loved the job and the company but after i took the job I began to receive more appointments in regards to getting approved for the cornea transplant. So it would have been impossible for me to stay within the jobs attendance policy and make these appointments. The temporary service is just going to place me on something later.

It also shows the judge for my child support that I have tried to work and it just didn't work right then and there.

I'm getting frustrated with all the appointments consistently being added ( I would not have taken the job if I knew all those appointments were coming up I thought I would be approved and just have the surgery. The seizures really messed things up)

Yes I'm refocusing again. My health issues I think may be done by mid June (since surgery was pushed back because I couldn't get cleared for anestesia cause I have not seen neurologist and started work)

Plus I just wanted to test myself too. I wanted to see if I could work again. I'm still not ready. *sighs*

I have learned alot. The job boosted my confidence. Just getting it really helped.

But now I have to refocus and get these health issues finished and done with so I can be as close to "normal" as possible. So I'm just really hanging in there.

Yes WAW has alot of problems. I can admit it. It's really hard to watch her fall apart. She's unraveling (i've been there) and I just want to help and fix it. Most men are just natural attempted fixers. I don't know why.

I think after a little while she will realize that she needed the help and not be mad at me.

It was hard to watch her go. I shed tears and left before they put her in the car.