Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Time for darkness.... (thread number 3)ears open

Hmm no wonder for the N.C. from WAW.

She's been talking to our "former mutual friend" again. It's not telling what lies she's told. I cannot stand this woman. She has purposely caused drama in my M because her ENGAGEMENT with one of my friends ended. misery loves company.

I had to show her a freaking email that this chick sent to make her see the lies she was stating and how she purposely said and did things to cause animosity.

Now she's back to talking to her again? smh whatever. No wonder she's been dead silent and i'm not getting "pursued" anymore even though I haven't talked to "mutual friend" in almost a month.

More journaling. WAW texts me and sends me the pics of SD8.

The paternal grandmother (who she wants to adopt SD8) is in the hospital. Her blood pressure shot through the roof while she was at work yesterday. She's also diabetic.

Smh. This is why she should NOT be adopting SD8. that's too much stress for a mid 50's women with an H who is deployed overseas.

WAW is taking care of SD8 and SD8's two cousins while paternal grandmother is in the hospital.

I can see one of two things happening.

A) WAW moves in to "help out" (she'd love that)

B) WAW realizes that she needs to get it together because SD8 is HER RESPONSIBILITY (and mine to a lesser extent)

c) WAW does not realize that even though paternal grandmother loves SD8 she really should not be trying to take care of her.

The funny thing is physically WAW is probably healthier than everyone.

paternal grandmother has highblood pressure and diabetes. (currently in hospital)

I have diabetes, asthma, and possible anemia with a cornea transplant coming up (hospitalized last monday)

my father has diabetes, high blood pressure, sickle cell, arthritis and anemia

my mother has high blood pressure, had a hysterectomy, and has a pacemaker (had two surgeries last june)

my aunt (who is here alot) has diabetes and breast cancer (in and out of the hospital for chemo)

These are the 5 main people who have been helping me and WAW for the past year (although me and the paternal grandmother do NOT get along because she doesn't understand the CPS situation and I got railroaded)

and every single last ONE OF US seems to care more about what needs to be done than WAW. Every single last one of these people is also working (although I just currently started after a year off due to serious health issues) while WAW just draws unemmployment and doesn't see how this is adding stress and causing others to get sick.

although WAW does have epilepsy, she has not had a seizure since AUGUST.

I expect WAW to take the easy out (since she really does not want to work from what i'm seeing) and try to swing something with the paternal grandmother to take care of SD8 to keep her from "getting sick." not realizing the added stress of having to care for a woman with epilepsy and a small child would ADD MORE STRESS.

but we'll see.

*head explodes*

Not much going on today. Just been reading alot of threads and articles to try to get some advice, clarity, and understanding. Rereading my own threads as well.

I think I'm in a better place than I was in march and the beginning of april but there's still alot of work to do.

You really need to find something to do on the weekends. Make this your last weekend of sitting around and do nothing. You have a pattern and you seem to be far more stable and clear headed when you have the structure and routine of work.

All your posts this weekend were ALL about your WAW again. While you may not be talking to her you are allowing your head to be filled with so many thoughts about her.

I have felt terrible this entire weekend. It was one of the first weekends in a long time I have been this sad. I know my H is getting settled in the new house with OW. I forced myself to be busy. Friday I hung out w/neighbors, Sat. went to a Kentucky Derby Party and today I took my dog to the park. I would have loved to crawl in bed and just wallow but that won't do me any good.

Once again your W has proven she has no desire to surround herself with "good" people, makes poor decisions and will move towards anybody that shows her attention or can get her what she wants.

WAW has stated she is not moving down with SD8. She texted me that yesterday. She said she will be back home this week and will go to her job interviews.

I really do need to GAL. I was supposed to go visit some friends but I felt this weekend I needed to rest. Being out of work for so long, I'm having to adjust my sleep patterns and habits to be able to withstand not napping in the middle of the day or sleeping during the day and being up late at night. So that's an adjustment so i've slept alot.

I FINALLY GOT NEW PICS OF SD8!!!!!!! it made me smile and my heart do flips. She has gotten soooooooooooooooooooooo tall.

I'm not the wreck I used to be. Im not near as desperate as clingy. I'm a thinker and I don't want to mess this up. I've done a good job of that already. So I journal alot.

I've never really been the type to talk about myself alot. So I have to work on that.

I'm sorry about how you felt C.G. I really am. You seem like a truly amazing woman with such great strength. How your LEGAL H cannot see that is beyond me.

And yes I am more focused when I'm busy at work. I think about it but not as much. It's just going to take some time. I really want to make my M work but not like this.

I'm not ready for my M right now either. I have alot of things I have to work on myself.

James and City Girl, can you comment on my sitch - need advice fast please.

i replied dude. hope that helps.

C.G. yep this weekend has been hard. I really have missed her. It's almost time for bed so I can get ready for work. When does the pain stop?

Well work is fun.. learning a lot and exceling. Got a perfect score on our review quiz. I have lost a few pounds.

I'm trying to focus on my goals.

Got a text from waw stating she has been thinking about our R and the kids. *gulp*

She has been talking to our former mutual friend and I'm nervous bcuz she broke off her engagement then coincidently me and waw split up.

So well see. Lunch is over

Just trying to stay focused

Your FIRST goal should be to not think or talk about your W while you are at work.

If you are trying to focus on YOUR goals then why are you worrying about who your W is talking to? You can't control it. Clearly your W knows how you feel about this former friend and it hasn't stopped her from talking with her so that should speak volumes to you. People who want to rebuild a R don't talk to former toxic friends that have caused drama. Your W can talk to whoever she wants but again, IMO, it's just another poor choice she is making by involving herself with yet another unhealthy person.

No R talks. You are not ready.

If she does r talk I hope its an email. That way I can read it. I'm not ready for a phone about it at all. I'm really trying to work on not thinking about it but its really really hard while at work but I'm doing pretty well at the job.

Yes its a poor choice but I'm not going to say a word about it. She has to figure that out for herself. She knows she's not going to help the sitch but her views are skewed and very toxic but once again that's on her.

Welp break is over