I have cut off all contact with him for a whole 7 days now, which is a record for me since the OW has been gone, haven't even had contact regarding the kids!
I hate to say this but 7 days in the scheme of a MLC is nothing. You should stay NC for 7 months and see what happens.
Mila--mine is the same way, that love is a feeling that he has no control over, and he felt it for his OW too and they were perfect for each other and I broke them up!! Go figure! She was and is a nut job, gave up custody of her then 5 yr old son to be with my still very married husband! Now, three years later, she doesn't have my XH or her son...she didn't want to come 2nd to our kids when she gave up her's!! What a steller mom and person huh?? Sorry you are going through all this...again!
OP- Things were going good with XH and myself since Jan. when the OW left him, we went on a trip together and he was coming out of the tunnel, so contact was good and both ways. Since we left him to go back home after our trip (700 miles away from him), he has gone back into the tunnel. So, 7 days is good since I just started going dark on him again. I did that continully when OW was in the picture, was as dark as I could be with 3 kids to parent with him. Now, I am starting it all over since he is back in MLC big time again. He wants to live like he is 21 and I can't take it, so it is easier not to have any contact with him at all. It is easier for ME, really don't care what it does for him or where it brings him at all right now. At this moment, I am done with someone so cruel, no one knows the future, so I never say never, but I am pretty close to never when it comes to him. Thanks so much and your right, 8 days and counting, isn't long, but given what has happened it is for me and I am proud of it!
A
Me-40 XH-44 T-21 M-18 Div-19 mo. D-18,S-15,D-11 Bomb-7/07 EA,PA Mvd out-9/07-to give me space mvd back-12/07 mvd out-7/08 back with OW since 2/08 OW broke it off-1/10 in and out of tunnel and our life since!!
Thanks so much for the kind words and encouragement! It means alot and I am going to stay strong! He is coming up here in a little over a week...I need to stay focused and away from him!
A
Me-40 XH-44 T-21 M-18 Div-19 mo. D-18,S-15,D-11 Bomb-7/07 EA,PA Mvd out-9/07-to give me space mvd back-12/07 mvd out-7/08 back with OW since 2/08 OW broke it off-1/10 in and out of tunnel and our life since!!
I think one of the things we are lucky enough to learn on this journey if we work on it is how to love truly - unconditional love, not based on emotions, not based on how we are treated or what we receive, and how to use it to forgive.
I just wanted to say a quick thanks to those who encouraged me yesterday. Today is MUCH better. I am back on track and feeling good. I am sure getting a good night of sleep (actually the best in a long time!) went a long way towards that.
Our conversation of a couple of nights ago so far has not come back to bite me in the butt. Everything so far has been fine (well, MLC fine).
TF - Good to hear that you are having a good day It's such an up & down. I just hate that part, no matter how hard we try, they still manage to rattle us.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
It's such an up & down. I just hate that part, no matter how hard we try, they still manage to rattle us.