Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Just another broken heart

I filed at small claims for my money today. Tired of being walked over. I don't know why I thought she'd be financially responsible when she's not been morally or legally so.

It will screw her career. It will screw her credit score. But she's had adequate warning now. And I don't care that she can't reply this week as she's on holiday with OM. Simply more evidence that she can't be bothered to pay despite having the money.

Feeling good. Had a lovely night out last night with a friend, dinner out and then saw Blind Side at the flicks - fantastic film. Off to work in another 15 mins, and then full social calendar this week and away bank holiday weekend. Life for me is mostly good. If she wants to live a life where she's hated by her family, despised by someone she bothered to marry and hates herself (well she told me she did after we separated), then she's welcome to it. I know that I have nothing to feel bad about regarding my actions, just regret about being taken for a 3yr ride by her.

Now life is getting complicated again so soon. Very nice prospect on the horizon, even though I know I'm not ready. She ticks pretty much all my boxes for a potential partner, we have been spending time together as friends, but there is definitely the opportunity for more. She knows my situation in terms of awaiting divorce, timing of our separation and why it happened, both my faults and the STBXW behaviour. I think she is currently waiting patiently for me to sort myself out.

It is proving hard to hold back. I don't want to hurt anyone, myself included. I'm incredibly impatient as a rule, and the STBXW has given no indication whatsoever that she gives a s**t about me and carries on with the OM. Except that she asks one of our mutual friends how I am every time she sees her, and I'm sure that's just about a conversation topic they have in common rather than genuine interest.

But then I remember my honeymoon, and good times with the STBXW, how in love we were, our wedding day. And I'm still grieving for that, and still sometimes want for it all not to have been a waste, to be able to remember those happy times with my wife as I should be doing anyway, looking into her eyes and holding her and telling her I love her. Although I'm not sure I do love her anymore. It's so damn sad. Only 9 months ago we stood in that beautiful castle garden surrounded by our nearest and dearest and promised our lives to each other forever. Time on that luxury island on the Great Barrier Reef with only 8 other people, lying in hammocks, snorkelling on the coral, walking hand in hand on our own private bit of beach. We should've been having babies this year, not waiting for a divorce. The father-in-law was trying to buy us a farmhouse to raise them in. Can't believe it is all now lost, cruelly banished by her disgusting behaviour and inability to stay in the committment she made, supported by her OM and immoral friends. How could someone who stopped speaking to her best mate for 6 months because the mate was trying to break up someone else's marriage to get her man, do this to ours?

I am SO not ready for another relationship.
I wish I was.

Lees, wanted to stop by and offer my support to you as you have to me.

Lees you have had a tough ride as many of us on this roller coaster.You are in many different spaces as far as your w goes and thats normal so dont make any big decisions when you are cycling.
I D my H after 3 years of M only to remarry him again 3 years later.All is not lost.You have to ask yourself if you can ever really put behind you, all the nasty things she has done.People and their M have recovered after A's, some go onto say life is better.
Sometimes for reasons we dont understand good people make mistakes.Dont get me wrong I despise A's, I think almost as much as Pup, but its down to you to really soul search and ask if you can forgive her if she came knocking on your door tomorrow.
You are still in that space where soemtimes taking them back is easier because you know the pain will ease but is that the answer? Is the memories keeping you going or your love for her? Sometimes its the memories....
This op you have met,there is nothing wrong in being friends.Sometimes people come along for a reason,season, a lifetime..perhaps she is there to help you through this and realise there is more to life.
I am glad to hear you enjoy the good Scottish air...I am in Gla.Good see the old scottidh words like eejit!
You are a strong person and will get this through this...keep your chin up.

Indeed I love the Scottish air, although not a Scot myself. Spent a good bit of time working at GRI though, patching back together the 'weegies!

Still have my house up in Fife, and visit when I can, rent it out the rest of the time. Would love to be back working up there so I could live in my wee cottage by the sea!

I would have her back only if she were willing to put in the required effort to sort out our relationship. I don't know if she ever will be though.

In my good times I don't care about that - I know I'm a good catch, and I know I will have my dream of picket fence and family. Unfortunately I still do have those low times where I don't believe that.

Thankyou Mystik and JacT for your reading time and kind support. This place is definitely part of what is keeping me going, keeping me positive, and helping me become a better person for it.

Now off to do ironing, and go to bed with a bit of light reading in Tough Love!

I worked in Fife and have relatives there.It is truly beautiful.Lees what doesnt kill us makes us stronger.Its incredible how a sitch can change quickly, when she sees you GAL and TRULY moving on she will start chasing.I remember reading a sitch where the person said that when they no longer needed their H to come home and wanted him home, he was there.For me when I saw my H moving on the 1st time and starting to date, thats when reality hit home about who I wanted to be with.
If its what you want do not lose Hope but dont depend on it, does that make sense?
I have not had any ctc with my H for 7 months apart from 1 txt and its breaking my heart but I refuse to play with his head the way the OW has.Goodnight and remember sleeves first when ironing!!!!

How are you today Lees?

I'm doing good thanks Jac.

Just home from an extremely busy 13hrs on call at work - just left my lunch there for tomorrow as had no time to eat it!

Unfortunately my car is stuck in the garage as the mechanic went home early so when I called to pay he wasn't there and thus my car has been locked inside. Won't be using his services again! Need to get it back desperately tomorrow in time for Scotland. Also having a headache with insurance company - previous car written off before Christmas and now the insurance company which have accepted liability and inspected the old wreck are causing bother with the hire car company demanding money for 99 days of hire car. Not my problem if they can't be bothered to settle their claims promptly! Trouble is, if they don't recoup the funds from them, they'll come asking me so need to try and get a few moments at work tomorrow to sort it out.

Life is a bit of a whirl at the moment - another day at work tomorrow, although just an average 0830 till 1730, and then a birthday party to attend and stuff to pack ready for leaving work in the bank hol traffic on Fri. M1 in rush hour - can't wait!

Haven't heard anything from STBXW or OM, but not expecting to - they're no doubt having a lovely time in Lake Como together. Still waiting for their sordid little lives to fall apart. Mind, the combination of new job, County Court Judgement pending and continued disgust of family must be piling up now. I still have just the tiniest glimmer of hope. But it's fading fast. Won't be long until I'm switching from newcomers to divorcing forums!

How are you?

It rotten when everything comes at once.. same happened to me.I was saying to my C.This time last year had a lovely family, very successful career and money in bank.Now I am just pulling myself together.I took redundancy so looking to get back to work now, some interesting jobs have come up.So thats 1st priority.I am financially independent thank god have had nothing from H.
I think every signal these couples put out are a pure facade.They can never be happy after what they have done.I heard the other day from an ex family member she saw my H and ow with her D about 8 weeks post bomb drop in Pizza Hut, she said he didnt see her but they never once had a full conversation.He looked miserable.
My h saying to his one mate life never been better but H saying to youngest my life would be so much better if you and Sam were in it...They dont know left from right, right from wrong trust me.
She will see whats she's lost at some point but dont assume all is good..their great actors...meantime you have to eat and look after yourself.You want to look your best when she comes a chapping!She will, give it time..but you may not want her.
The way I am looking at it is you have to be in a space that you are strong enough to make the right decision.

My H txt me 8 weeks ago saying he would sign everything over in rtn for D..so I will joining you I think in D forum.I have heard nothing since..he doesnt want a D just trying to suss out space I am in..but a txt after 30 yr..since we were 14/15!
Insurance companies..just had my fill with payment protection..good luck

ps make sure you have your lunch today...and dinner!