The deadlines are the worst - the feeling of uncertainty. I'm sure you probably feel sick to the though of your efforts and good improvements not being enough to get her off that track.
remember, DCB, YET is the key word. keep trying. Keep working. You're making yourself a better father and husband. As long as laziness doesn't take over, apathy, despair, etc., you are GOING to succeed. She'll love you deeply again~
Remember, even the September date is just the starting point of the divorce process. My IC would say: "It doesn't matter when the legal process starts... only when it ends".
The legal process is long and emotionally draining for both parties. Don't assume that just because you hit Sept "its over". You have lots of time to work on yourself.
The most important thing you can do right now is regain and display emotional stability. You won't be able to do that if you are fixated about some future date which may or may not happen.
Last edited by techguy; 05/17/1004:08 AM.
My thread, Carpe Diem #4 Orig Thread: Carpe Diem #1
I will definatley focus on the improvements and hope we never reach the point of beginning the legal process. We're so distracted with family and other projects/issues it seems as though there isn't much time to work on the Are but I'll continue with the program. Thanks very much everyone! And yes, the thought of a deadline does cause me to feel sick but I'll not think about that!
I will definatley focus on the improvements and hope we never reach the point of beginning the legal process.
I'm praying for that for myself, too!
Just remember to not get so caught up in the distractions that you forget your goal (can't see the forest for the trees). In a year, the distractions will just be a memory, but your marriage need not be. Which is more important in the long-run?
I was in exactly your place. I dreaded every day that my WAW was going to start the legal process.
In the end, the start of the legal process was, if anything, a positive. The walk-away can live in a fantasy world before the process starts. But once the process starts there are stark realities about financial and custody matters. All of a sudden that great "free" life they were looking for is not nearly as appealing.
My thread, Carpe Diem #4 Orig Thread: Carpe Diem #1
Great words of advice. I faltered a bit yesterfay and discussed the Are with her because I really wondered how she felt. She's still not certain we'll make it. I intend to proveto her that we can!
Not sure what that is, but most LBH's on the board tend to want to talk their WAW's to death. They think they will change her mind by "talking", but that is not what changes her mind. So, stop with the R talks and just be the best you can be...everyday. You won't have to point it out to her, she'll get it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
So how are things going...are you still making progress on meeting your and her needs better? Is she still stuck wondering or has she moved over more toward the hopeful side?
