Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Time for darkness.... (thread number 3)ears open

James....been following your situation and keeping quiet as you have been getting exceptional advise from many people....but i have to chime in about the above comment....

your co-dependancy is killing both of you. Do not, i repeat do not have any contact with her for at least a few weeks, get yourself together, take care of you.

i really don't want to look at this thread again and see you going on and on about your W and how she just talked to you, or you just texed her back right after you are goin dark, or NC.

no contact means - no contact , not no contact until later today.

sorry to be so blunt.

Gman

No problem man. Thank u for ur reply. I have a lot of people on here really helping. I'm really trying to focus and do better. I used to be so independent until I got sick and vice versa. To keep from talking to her I try to vent and post on here.

Things are progressing for me I just have to be patient.

I will look at your sitch when I get home.just enjoying work

No problem man. Thank u for ur reply. I have a lot of people on here really helping. I'm really trying to focus and do better. I used to be so independent until I got sick and vice versa. To keep from talking to her I try to vent and post on here.

Things are progressing for me I just have to be patient.

I will look at your sitch when I get home.just enjoying work

I don't have much time right now but I do think you need to change your mindset from "being patient" to "being proactive".

You need to really set some goals with time lines for YOU about work, your medical procedures, finding your own place and especially about getting to an IC right away.

If you have documentation that your WAW would be the sole caretaker of your biological children you need to change that ASAP. By having a woman you are not legally married to in a traditional sense that has signed the rights away to her own biological child connected to your children in ANY fashion you are really hurting your own case.

I am really troubled by some of what you posted which I realize is not your problem but I guess now that I fully understand what is going on (or understand most of it) I really think you need to rethink what you are doing.

No problem man. Thank u for ur reply. I have a lot of people on here really helping. I'm really trying to focus and do better. I used to be so independent until I got sick and vice versa. To keep from talking to her I try to vent and post on here.

Things are progressing for me I just have to be patient.

I will look at your sitch when I get home.just enjoying work

Just wanted to come on your thread and show you some support...Hope things are going well with you. Keep your head up!

Double post

Thanks for the reply t.h.a.

If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all.

On my last break I bought some chips out of the vending machine.

The chips got stuck so I shook it slightly. This was an older machine and it was glass and I did not know it and it had a tiny crack I did not see.

All of the glass came tumbling down on me and I got a minor cut on my head. So I had to wash my hair and get all the shards off of me and talk to the big wigs.

They were concerned and knew it was an accident. The head od our divison said he shook the same machine a few weeks ago and that its been doing that for awhile.

He also said he has heard exceptional things about me from my classmates and trainer and is proud of me. I got a perfect score on my accessment today

I told him about the conrea transplant and he said it wouldn't be a prbolem

I just have to go take a drug test which is standard for any on the job accident

Took the drug test and had my head looked at. Just a scratch on the noggin.

My pride and ego are wounded more than anything else. LOL

Stupid vending machine.

Talked to a few friends tonigght. Had a few interesting conversations.

I'm at home relaxing. Just thinking about alot of things. Trying to set some goals and boundaries and reflect.

Got 2 texts from WAW. She is visiting SD8 with paternal grandmother over 100 miles away and will be back this weekend.

*head explodes*

I understand she wants to see SD8. I want to as well. but why sign away the freaking rights and then keep hopping on greyhound for visits instead of going to I.C. getting your antidepressants and not applying for jobs or following up with the ones you did apply for.

She has totally lost it.

You ask for me to do your hair for jobs then you go out of town?

She's not gonna make it. I hate to admit it but she's not. SHe's going to have to hit total rock bottom and end up in a shelter before she realizes she's going about this the wrong way.

I'm patiently getting my health and other issues under control so i can handle the situations with the boys.

She thinks a few trips down there is going to make it better.

*head explodes again*

She has lost it. I don't know what is wrong with her.

She did call the workforce commission today but he the freak is she supposed to find a job when she's not even around?

*sighs*

I said nothing. Just read her text and came on here to vent to keep from venting to her.

I'll probably go to sleep today was a weird day

You cannot control what your W does, when she does it or how she does it so don't even bother asking why.

Focus back on you and stop trying to dissect all her actions with rational thought. Until your W begins to address her emotional and physical problems in a very real way nothing will change.

The healthier you become in all aspects will reveal to you with a fresh set of eyes exactly how unhealthy your W is. In order for you to become healthy you need to stay dark with her for a very long time and part of staying dark is not allowing yourself to obsess over her every move. As you become healthier you will begin to realize a strong desire to surround yourself with healthy and positive people who make good choices (or decent ones or at least try to), lead stable lives or are working towards stability and shun drama as much as possible. I do feel you will see that your W does not fall under any of those categories at this time.

If getting your children back is your number one goal you will really have to evaluate how much of a liability she will be in you reaching that goal. As it stands now she would not be helpful to that cause.

You need to make very specific goals with time lines.