Every time I get anywhere close to her she finds a way to hurt me.
You believe that she is in MLC right? Then don't take it personally. She is fighting her own demons and projects onto you. I know that MLC is not an illness, but it helped me to think of my H that way. It somehow helped me to deal with all of the crap he was trowing my way. And it helped me to forgive him and not to be angry with him. Then I was able to be his "friend".
Not easy, but possible.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Why are you allowing her to hurt you? I think that is the question you may need to answer. I suspect that if you detach enough that she can only hurt you if YOU allow it.
In terms of being her friend - I may be over simplifing this...but how do you deal with your other friends? Do you listen when they call? Do you help them when they need help? Maybe just try and listen to her. Try and understand her - as hard as that may be.
On an aside - thanks for your post to me buddy - thanks!
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Eric, No problem on the posts. It seems easier to help someone else than to actually focus on my own sitch.
The difference between my W and my friends is they are not trying to take things away from me. Also they don't distort everything I say as being controlling. They respect when I say no.
That's what makes it so hard to be her friend. How can one befriend a rabid dog?
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
So I think I know the answer to my question of "how to befriend a rabid dog". The answer is very slowly. Let them see your hands and make no sudden movements. Don't yell or make excessive noise. Make sure you actions are not threatening to the dog. Be very, very patient. Remember this dog is angry for a reason.
Working on becoming the MLC Whisperer.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
Spot on dude! I love this...."Working on becoming the MLC Whisperer".
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
