when she asked about taking the dog for a walk, I would have smiled and told her "how about right now?"
After you asked her the 2nd time and she responded with her usual half-assed effort, which you described previously, I would have proceeded with taking the dog for a walk without her, it's ok you know, you're allowed ;-)
Update on how the rest of the day went (yesterday):
W let dog upstairs to see me. W and I laid in same bed as we fooled around with the puppy. W started to fall to sleep and eventually did. I guess I got a little too close and my W turned her back to me making noises in frustration so I asked "Did that bother you that much?" and she mumbled "ummhmmm." I got up and left the room so she did not get anymore annoyed by me.
Later on I decided to go grocery shopping. I walked in the room and and told her I had to go a couple places and she asked "where" so I told her. Before I left she was not feeling well and had mentioned that she think she needed to eat something(she had not had anything to eat since the morning).
When I returned home, I heated up a quick meal and fixed her a plate. She did not eat it right away but eventually did. Shortly after she rolled out of bed as I was getting ready to go to a friends bachelor party. We had a few brief conversations. She was nearly in tears in pain and wanted to hop in the bath. I was occupying the bathroom so I just ran the bath water for her...I then left.
Before I returned home many hours later, 10 min before she got up for work actually I brought her home a little breakfast and sat it on her nightstand. She ate it. My W asked me how it went and I told her the time I had. At one point it was very ackward because some of her co-workers were there.
My W was running a little late and asked if I could through a quick lunch together for her, so I did and she thanked me. My W did walk into the bedroom in her undergarments where as earlier in the day she tried her best to prevent me from seeing her in such wear...
My W walked out the door for work and I said bye and she did say "bye" in return, not in the most exciting tone of voice but she at least said it.
You should have told her that she can always sleep on the couch if she has problems lying next to you on the bed, don't be afraid to mix it up a bit with her, if you've noticed, she controls everything with you. When you walk the dog, when she contacts you, what you're allowed to do when you're in bed with her, ..........YAWN...... BORING!
Stand up to her MAN! You're allowed.
"I didn't get married to become an asexual monk, if you can't lie next to me in bed and if it's wrong for me to touch you or want to have fun with you then we might as well call this situation what it is, OVER. I'll be civil with you and help you find another place and help you box up your stuff and move out. I don't think it's right for us to sleep in the same bed together either so please don't get offended if I ask YOU to sleep on the couch or in the guest room. If there's anything else you need to discuss with me, LET ME KNOW, I'm going out right now, talk to you later."
And NO you don't know when you're coming home, as for where you're going, "out with a friend", if she asks again where you're going, you say "out"
Otherwise exist in civil relations limbo land, let us know how fun it is living there ;-)
Update on how the rest of the day went (yesterday):
W let dog upstairs to see me. W and I laid in same bed as we fooled around with the puppy. W started to fall to sleep and eventually did. I guess I got a little too close and my W turned her back to me making noises in frustration so I asked "Did that bother you that much?" and she mumbled "ummhmmm." I got up and left the room so she did not get anymore annoyed by me.
Later on I decided to go grocery shopping. I walked in the room and and told her I had to go a couple places and she asked "where" so I told her. Before I left she was not feeling well and had mentioned that she think she needed to eat something(she had not had anything to eat since the morning).
When I returned home, I heated up a quick meal and fixed her a plate. She did not eat it right away but eventually did. Shortly after she rolled out of bed as I was getting ready to go to a friends bachelor party. We had a few brief conversations. She was nearly in tears in pain and wanted to hop in the bath. I was occupying the bathroom so I just ran the bath water for her...I then left.
Before I returned home many hours later, 10 min before she got up for work actually I brought her home a little breakfast and sat it on her nightstand. She ate it. My W asked me how it went and I told her the time I had. At one point it was very ackward because some of her co-workers were there.
My W was running a little late and asked if I could through a quick lunch together for her, so I did and she thanked me. My W did walk into the bedroom in her undergarments where as earlier in the day she tried her best to prevent me from seeing her in such wear...
My W walked out the door for work and I said bye and she did say "bye" in return, not in the most exciting tone of voice but she at least said it.
You should have told her that she can always sleep on the couch if she has problems lying next to you on the bed, don't be afraid to mix it up a bit with her, if you've noticed, she controls everything with you. When you walk the dog, when she contacts you, what you're allowed to do when you're in bed with her, ..........YAWN...... BORING!
Stand up to her MAN! You're allowed.
"I didn't get married to become an asexual monk, if you can't lie next to me in bed and if it's wrong for me to touch you or want to have fun with you then we might as well call this situation what it is, OVER. I'll be civil with you and help you find another place and help you box up your stuff and move out. I don't think it's right for us to sleep in the same bed together either so please don't get offended if I ask YOU to sleep on the couch or in the guest room. If there's anything else you need to discuss with me, LET ME KNOW, I'm going out right now, talk to you later."
And NO you don't know when you're coming home, as for where you're going, "out with a friend", if she asks again where you're going, you say "out"
Otherwise exist in civil relations limbo land, let us know how fun it is living there ;-)
Past several years I made her feel insecure about her body and the way she looks. Sometimes I made her feel disgusted in who she is and what she looks like. Although we were a very intimate couple once the intimate period ended I was back to degrading her...
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
We did not mean up the street and back down. We were going to take the dog to the park, sure I could have walked the dog myself and I still could if I choose to...
My W does not control what I do, only herself and how she reacts to things we do or I do.
Last edited by OfficerInNeed; 04/24/1006:56 PM.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
OfficerInNeed. So far she's still rebelling, wants to feel independant and free of you. I found this link on another forum which shows how a guy handled a similar situation:
I can't understand why these WAW just can't give that feeling up and come on all the way home. Take the pain that you have to take, because obviously you cheated. Your spouse still wants you, and these people outside the relationship, mostly are just playing with you. Why do you need to feel like you get over on your husband? This is what I want to ask the waywards.
DLS if you really feel like this, you have a long way to go. Do you really expect someone to stop feeling the way they feel, to give up those feelings so that they can feel what you feel?
That sounds incredibly selfish to me.
Here's an idea, why don't you give up feeling the way you feel and adopt your WAW's feelings, in fact, it might actually help you DB even more than what you've currently been doing.
I'm a man, if I take on the WAW's mentality I will end up in jail. I have been close enough to understand some of the irrationalizations that are part of her "world". She can get away with most of it because her social group allows it...
I know for the WAW, its usually harder to come home and to truly admit to yourself that you where wrong and your being selfish and its why your cheating your husband, its a lot of pain to bear.
Most humans are going to go the path of least resistance. I hope you know what I'm saying.
Also if I bear WAW viewping, I will DB hard as hell because I will understand how much she does NOT care about me or the situation.
I think I said that to some of these guys. "If you saw things from the way your WAW looks at it, you may not have any problem at all letting it go."
Update on how the rest of the day went (yesterday):
W let dog upstairs to see me. W and I laid in same bed as we fooled around with the puppy. W started to fall to sleep and eventually did. I guess I got a little too close and my W turned her back to me making noises in frustration so I asked "Did that bother you that much?" and she mumbled "ummhmmm." I got up and left the room so she did not get anymore annoyed by me.
Later on I decided to go grocery shopping. I walked in the room and and told her I had to go a couple places and she asked "where" so I told her. Before I left she was not feeling well and had mentioned that she think she needed to eat something(she had not had anything to eat since the morning).
When I returned home, I heated up a quick meal and fixed her a plate. She did not eat it right away but eventually did. Shortly after she rolled out of bed as I was getting ready to go to a friends bachelor party. We had a few brief conversations. She was nearly in tears in pain and wanted to hop in the bath. I was occupying the bathroom so I just ran the bath water for her...I then left.
Before I returned home many hours later, 10 min before she got up for work actually I brought her home a little breakfast and sat it on her nightstand. She ate it. My W asked me how it went and I told her the time I had. At one point it was very ackward because some of her co-workers were there.
My W was running a little late and asked if I could through a quick lunch together for her, so I did and she thanked me. My W did walk into the bedroom in her undergarments where as earlier in the day she tried her best to prevent me from seeing her in such wear...
My W walked out the door for work and I said bye and she did say "bye" in return, not in the most exciting tone of voice but she at least said it.
You should have told her that she can always sleep on the couch if she has problems lying next to you on the bed, don't be afraid to mix it up a bit with her, if you've noticed, she controls everything with you. When you walk the dog, when she contacts you, what you're allowed to do when you're in bed with her, ..........YAWN...... BORING!
Stand up to her MAN! You're allowed.
"I didn't get married to become an asexual monk, if you can't lie next to me in bed and if it's wrong for me to touch you or want to have fun with you then we might as well call this situation what it is, OVER. I'll be civil with you and help you find another place and help you box up your stuff and move out. I don't think it's right for us to sleep in the same bed together either so please don't get offended if I ask YOU to sleep on the couch or in the guest room. If there's anything else you need to discuss with me, LET ME KNOW, I'm going out right now, talk to you later."
And NO you don't know when you're coming home, as for where you're going, "out with a friend", if she asks again where you're going, you say "out"
Otherwise exist in civil relations limbo land, let us know how fun it is living there ;-)
Limboland sucks, and the one who is being cheated is being made to look less attractive by putting up with that crap.
Really guy, you need to start your own thread. You're letting alot of your own frustrations show up in other people's posts. And let's face it, weren't you the one who cheated on your W? I mean you sound pretty P.O.'d now that it's happening to you.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Past several years I made her feel insecure about her body and the way she looks. Sometimes I made her feel disgusted in who she is and what she looks like. Although we were a very intimate couple once the intimate period ended I was back to degrading her...
This seems an impossible hurdle to cross. What made you think this was acceptable behavior?
If she was treating you poorly for 10 years what would you have done?
Past several years I made her feel insecure about her body and the way she looks. Sometimes I made her feel disgusted in who she is and what she looks like. Although we were a very intimate couple once the intimate period ended I was back to degrading her...
This seems an impossible hurdle to cross. What made you think this was acceptable behavior?
If she was treating you poorly for 10 years what would you have done?
I never thought it was acceptable, I always regretted saying the things I said right after saying them. The heat of the moment would consume me and I would say a lot of hurtful things. This was not how I truly felt. I had insecurities in myself and took them out on her, in attempts to bring her down to my level of low self esteem.
I always seen my W as a beautiful woman and did express this to her as often as I could...At this point my W does not remember those times only the bad. I use to stand or sit beside her as she was getting ready to go to work or if we were heading out and say to her "You are so beautiful, you have gorgeous eyes" or other things along those lines and her response would always be "I'm yours" with a great big smile...
My W does not recall those times or if she does it causes her resentment to build up more because of the other times when I would be little her.
I go the help I needed to improve my self esteem issues and insecurities. The help I received has enabled me to see my W in a way I never thought possible, she truly is a beautiful woman.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
Really guy, you need to start your own thread. You're letting alot of your own frustrations show up in other people's posts. And let's face it, weren't you the one who cheated on your W? I mean you sound pretty P.O.'d now that it's happening to you.
MrBond,
I HAVE NOT CHEATED ON OR BEEN IN AN INAPPROPRIATE SITUATION AGAINST MY WIFE.
Not even once.
I have cheated in other relationships before I met her.
In this situation my current wife's friends have low ethics, and they accused me of cheating to help egg her on to cheating me.
