Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives Find your voice. Stomp that yard. All that crap.

Fell asleep on kids' floor with them on either side of me, woke up at 3:00 and the headache was gone. I am thinking that getting some sleep, plus drinking more water, and the tylenol must have finally kicked in...

Last night stunk. I was putting Nathan into bed and we were talking about my sis and the fact she has no kids of her own but one stepson. Somehow topic turned to stepsiblings and Nathan says,

"But the bad thing about stepbrothers is, to get one, your mom and dad had to get divorced. I am so glad you and dad didn't get divorced. Nobody on the (my last name) side or the (his last name) side has ever gotten divorced, we are so lucky. I am glad my mommy and daddy aren't divorced."



So that talk needs to come ASAP........it is like tearing off a bandaid in super-slow motion. Plus I am basically lying by omission every time he makes a comment like this. I am going to have to tell them on my own if Dan doesn't agree to do it this week. It has to happen. And I am so sick about it...


(Sorry Mind I have not have a very smile-y post lately have I?)

Maybe you need to stop falling asleep on the floor!! lol

Yes, I think that talk needs to happen soon. Waiting isn't going to make it any easier. It doesn't do any good to keep his hopes up.

hugs, kat

Yep, it stinks for little guy...

On the way into school this morning, he asks "How does Santa work when you have two houses?" (we never had to address this yet as Dan lived with his parents and thus mine was the only house for Santa to visit)

I told him that we could decide which house we wanted Santa to go and write him a letter...Sweet boy Nathan said, "I think this year should be daddy's house since he never got to have Santa at his house yet"...and I am fine with that, although it is pretty early to make Christmas plans!

Still figuring out Sydney's birthday which is this Saturday!! My baby will be four... she has told me she wants a Barbie party, a cowgirl party, and a Princess Party. I need to just pick one and buy supplies before I am out of time!

Oh and stupid headache is back. Going to have to deal with it sooner or later!

BBJ- I just did a marathon, reading all your old posts!- sorry your hubby is behaving the way he is. Have you spoken to your sons school counselor on how to address this issue of D? Any good children's books that you could use for the D topic?

As for the headache- have you tried lots of saline nose spray? Baby Ayr works best for me. Or a Nettle pot? Sometimes sinus issues can bring on a really weird headache.
Can I also rave about a really old migraine medication called Midrin. It would knock out the headache but still allow me to function.....
Hope you feel better!

(((((BobbiJo)))))

I have a feeling the stress of telling the kids, especially Nathan, is feeding the headache. I really think that it's more important to get them told than it is for Dan to be in on it. He's pretty much made it clear how important it is to him.

HUGS!

I agree with Jeff. He is asking every time, and you are lying to him. For what purpose? It doesn't change what is.

BBJ I hate to say this, but your son is begging you to be honest with him and you are not. Kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for. this was a hard lesson I learned with my own sons.

Nathan wants to make sure you are the parent he can trust.

I know. I have to tell him, asap.

I am so dreading the look in his eyes. I have no idea how to explain to him why I lied/avoided telling him for so long...

But I cannot put it off any longer. He is fishing about more and more each day and every time I sidestep the issue I am leading him on.

I know this first hand. What kept me awake at 3 am last night was knowing that I am doing what Dan did to me...

All the times when we were 'piecing' and he was distant. I would say something about how glad I was we weren't giving up, etc etc. Waiting for Dan to say something about wanting to leave. He didn't and I took it to mean he was staying, but then as we all know, he didn't. My son has learned from me.

I have to tell him. Tonight is a Dan night so I guess I tell him tomorrow night when he is with me...

Hi BobbiJo. I have been reading your thread lately, and your title makes me crack up : )

You just need to rip it off and tell them asap. Don't wait on your exh to help you. I had to sit down with mine and tell them by myself that we were separating. Ex of course wouldn't man up and help. It turned out okay.

Kids appreciate and respect the parent that will be open and honest with them. The longer you let this go, the more they may resent the fact that you haven't told them earlier. Yes it will hurt. I cried with my son, but we both came out of it okay. I think you need to do it now. The reason he keeps making these statements to you is that he is asking for reassurance...