C-Bart, IMO I would not talk to him. The fact that he is trying to call is very odd. If the OM in my sitch tried to call I would let him have it, and he knows it.
Anything the OM in your sitch needs to communicate should be funneled through your W.
I'm holding up great. I'm feel very much in control of my life for the first time in 15 years. There is something powerful in the word no. How this will all turn out I have no idea.
I find the OM reaching out to me as just another seen in this comedy.
He called me on my work mobile so I ended up talking to him. I was very nice, calm, cool, collected. It was a pleasant conversation and I think he may see my point about him being around the kids. Now if he follows though I have no idea.
I think I'd rather talk to him than my W :-)
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
Why would he want to talk to you, there is really no reason unless he feels that he needs to "protect" her from YOU. Is there something that she could be telling him that would make him feel that he needs to step in?
The only time OW wanted to talk to me is when she broke up with my H for the 3rd time and wanted to tell me that she is sorry for everything. I told H that I don't want to talk to her. She didn't call but instead 2 weeks later restarted the affair with H.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
He wanted to discuss W's distress when she is away from the kids. He thinks I'm holding them away because he is always there. That's not the case. I'm trying to keep consistency in their lives. I did however say that adult relationships need to be kept away from the kids. I expressed that I don't want my kids hurt by people coming in and out of their lives. Same stuff I told my STBXW. Strangely he seem to understand where she just resorted back to how good a guy he is. Also strange that she is in tears about not seeing the kids. Did she not understand the consequences of her decisions?
He offered to stay away from W's house when kids were there. Very amicable. Not sure if he will follow through. Either way it is what it is.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
Two things are puzzling to me. First, is how do you coordinate custody around a person who works every third weekend 12 hour shifts. I'm at a loss as to how to make this work out 50/50. Looking for suggestions.
Secondly, why is STBXW always crying. She came by on Monday spent time with kids she stop at the door and was just in tears. Just standing there. I had no idea what to do so I said good night and walked away. Shouldn't she be happy? She's rid of me. Has OM to keep her company. WT...?
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
She also says she has been in a fog the past couple of months. She's hasn't been paying her bills (collection calls coming to my house) either. She also has backed away from the D and is willing to move forward with LS. Wants to modify parenting plan which is the only reason we are talking other than a couple small issues with kids.
What's going on here? Is she shifting into depression?
Last edited by C-Bart; 04/23/1003:39 AM.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
C-Bart - It's very likely that she feels guilty, unsure and depressed. I think that there is lots of doubt and internal turmoil...they are not as sure as they appear about their choices.
My H left to be with OW - he got what he wanted right?...well he wasn't happy...far from it. He split up with OW 3 months after they "took the plunge". Now he is in major OW withdrawal & depression.
Be her friend and watch what happens next.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
