Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Possible EA - sitting on the edge

I do plan to enjoy my new voice activated tape recorder. Joint credit card won't get used. She's got her own. Cars are in separate names. Just had a scary thought. What if I can't 'prove' anything and all this behavior is just her moving on? I'm a little panicked right now...all I have is a cell phone bill with someone's phone number on it. If an EA how do you gather intel on that? Sorry to keep harping on this but I think it makes a huge difference in how I proceed.

I don't understand your question. Are you asking "What if it's 'only' an EA?" Or "What if neither an EA or a PA turns up?"

If it's the former, I'd strongly urge you NOT TO MINIMIZE IT. Only DAMs say "only" an EA (just ask a woman what is more damaging to her heart).

If it's the latter, then you at least will have your answer, and that will change your strategy and tactics.

How can it possibly be bad to know?

Puppy

I read somewhere that 75% of Ea's turn into PA's... sorry I don't have the url handy where i read it.

If left unfettered, I'd say it's more like 90%+.

Puppy

Either way the term "just" is inviting the problem to fester

Agreed.

Hey, I'm off to Orlando for a business trip. You'll have to hold down the tree fort, brutha. Try to only let the COOL people in, okay?

Puppy

Give my wife's OM in Orlando a slap in the head for me.. better yet slip a crazy-glued hand grenade down his pants...

Sorry for the confusion, I meant what if it isn't an EA or PA. The bigger question is how to be sure but I guess the intel will help me figure that out. Just to continue gathering data I called the hotel my w stays at when traveling. Good news she was registered, good news OM wasn't, bad news...doesn't mean they aren't together. Didn't hear a peep from her in two days though (usually calls to speak with D). The question was more about strategies and tactics but I guess I have time to figure that out. I do really appreciate all the help and advice. I plan on doing what it takes to get this right for us or if not us then me and d. It was tough to concentrate at work today though...kept on thinking about 'what ifs' and how a week seems like a life time to find out what is up but really I've been in this since 08/09. In any event anymore thoughts or advice on further intel ideas or anything are appreciated.

BWP, you need INTEL... that is the FIRST STEP

Until you know what you are dealing with we can't reccomend an effective stratgy for dealing with it.

Spousal instincts are usually pretty good and you mentioned one symptom here :

1. Hasn't called to speal with D in two days

That's a fairly red light as is...

I am going to reccoemnd you keep small paragraphs and try to summarize in t ables and lists to help everyone keep caught up, i try to do that for posters when I am helping them, but the forum gets busy sometimes

What are the other symptoms?

2. TBD
3. TBD
4. TBD
5. TBD
6. TBD
7. TBD

?

Sounds silly, but make sure you EAT. You may have to force yourself. Small, healthy meals and snacks.

You also may want to ask your doc about anti-depressants/anti/anxiety meds. They really help at this stage, and many of them do take 2-3 weeks to kick in.

Puppy