Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers W still wants separation, need to DB more

I have done so, 3 times already as a matter of fact. Laid beside in bed and slept with enough space between us where she could rest without disturbance.

When our sitch was at it's worse we slept in the same bed. It started with her ALWAYS turning her back toward me. Gradually it became where she felt comfortable enough top turned toward me. Now she does not.

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When my W came home from work we had planed to go up to the hospital but she was no longer in the mood. I had an arrangement of flowers sent up to the hospital room from the both of us. They were to be there when we arrived to visit but my W went to bed instead.

I had made lunch for the both of us, We both sat down and had lunch when she returned home from work. We watched TV during this time. Shortly after she went to bed.
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I work tonight and plan on picking her up and dropping her off from the parking lot to the front of her work place as I have been doing. Tomorrow evening is the memorial service which one of my goals was she would wear her ring to the service. This seems like a far fetch goal at this point.

I'm confused -- I thought he was sleeping in the master bedroom already?

OfficerInNeed,

Did you sneak in the bed, so that when she wakes up your there. Goal of course is to guage a response. If she's the "happy" suprised, or kinda mad.

She is back and forth. When I am already in the master bed she will go in other room or on couch.

A few times I did hop in bed while she was already in there. She slept but I was never really to see a reaction. Seems to be like she is avoiding being in same bed as I.

This sometimes happens on couch too. I would occupy 1/3 of the cough and she would still sit on a whole other couch...

OfficerInNeed,

Its like the polarity got switched on the magnets...

Based on what OIN has said so far, I don't think he'd get a happy reaction. So I wouldn't bother trying.

If OIN is trying to demonstrate being straightforward and not manipulative, "accidentally" appearing in her bed isn't going to go very far towards that end.

Just make a point of sleeping in the master bed. If and when she feels comfortable, she will join you -- and that gesture will be far less ambiguous.

Still a wayward... There is nothing wrong with accidentally appearing in the bed with your spouse, hell the women do it to us when they appear to be mad and appear in bed.

There is something wrong with it if she makes it clear that he's not welcome, which her body language and attitude seem to be conveying quite clearly.

This isn't the Penthouse Forums page -- if a woman wakes up and finds someone in her bed that she didn't invite then she's probably going to freak out, not give him come-hither eyes.

TrentC,

Its his wife and his house. She cheated him. Some times he's not supposed to care what she thinks. Its something I would do. If she is going to be angry at me for sleeping in my bed, because she cheated me and treats me like dirt - eventually I'm going to have enough. OIN has made monumental efforts, and the level of discipline to do what he's doing is crazy. I believe she's keeping him too far, in obvious efforts NOT to connect with her own husband. Its up to him in the end. It IS his wife and their marriage until he's divorced.

Its not even her power, its his. She is cheating him every day by not closing the gap after the betrayal.

So what -- she doesn't even deserve basic courtesy? That's going to go a hell of a long way towards rebuilding trust and intimacy.



Why is this all about you, all of a sudden? I could give a flying fig how you treat your wife and your relationship.

It's not your life and your wife we're talking about; what may work in your relationship may not in his.



I'm not up on his situation; all I know is, by his own admission, that whatever he's been doing for the past 5 or 6 weeks doesn't seem to be getting him anywhere. So I suggested changing methods.