Oh yeah, I'm not responding any more. I felt like I made it very clear that I'm done communicating with whoever this person/thing is on the other end.
Oh, you ARE communicating. Bet on that..
You are communicating that I will fight for you even if you have another man and say you don't want me and are not attracted to me. I will show you how low my self esteem is by fighting back and turning off your internet and hope that wins back your love and respect.
And they wonder how he got his username "Confused Guy" . . .
Gentlemen, we are only confusing him further. Whether he stands up to her via some boundary-enforcing or thru totally kicking her out, the point is, HE'S STANDING UP TO HER, or -- more accurately -- STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF.
For the first time in YEARS, perhaps EVER.
I thought we were here to support each other, Gooch.
You wanna see her go through the roof? Ignore most of texts and if she persists, you tell her, ONCE, you will be willing speak to her when she thinks she is able to address you in a respectful manner. Then turn off your phone for an hour or two.
Steve M is right, it's Friday baby, where you going tonight???
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
You wanna see her go through the roof? Ignore most of texts and if she persists, you tell her, ONCE, you will be willing speak to her when she thinks she is able to address you in a respectful manner. Then turn off your phone for an hour or two.
Steve M is right, it's Friday baby, where you going tonight???
Yeah, I am more than willing to listen to everyone's opinion and advice to consider, but I'm getting such mixed opinions and I know that it's my responsibility to sort through them. So much of this has gone against everything that I've let myself become over the years and hasn't been easy. But, I know that my passive nature and desire to please people is what got me here and it sure as hell isn't going to get me out of this. All I can do is keep absorbing everyone's advice, keep myself upright and working on the things in my life that I know need to change so that I'm a better person and stick up for myself, and get out and enjoy myself.
Now I have an email from her saying "you're in for a treat when you go home :)" god, I don't really care what it is, but I swear to god if she's broken anything. . . I'm assuming 1 of 3 things. . . 1. a copy of the petition for divorce (fine with me) 2. she's moved stuff out (really ok with me) 3. she's broken things (not sure how to respond to that)
About a year ago, she started talking to an ex online We're in TX and he's in CA), sending topless pics,
Originally Posted By: Confused Guy
Well, last week, I could tell that her attitude had changed. She was distant and distracted. Then, out of nowhere, she says that she's not sure about us still. That she needed to think about things. That something's still missing. Well, it turns out that she's found another guy online to occupy her time. Yes, it is sexual in nature. She didn't leave the house, just stayed in another bedroom. I was so shocked by what had just happened, that I did lots of stupid things. I confronted her, told her that it had to stop, that she couldn't possibly make a decision like us splitting up while she was wrapped up in a fantasy online. And just to state the facts, when I have snooped on her, I learned that she makes up lots of things about herself, sends them very specific photos, that show off her better assets.
Originally Posted By: Confused Guy
Last night when she was talking and laughing so loud to make sure I heard her, I just went to the bedroom and turned on some music. Not blaring it or anything, just enough to drown it out. I probably should have told her that if she wanted to continue talking to him, take it outside. If it becomes an issue again, that is exactly what I plan on saying. Of course, I have to figure out some sort of consequence if she refuses, without being over the top.
Originally Posted By: Confused Guy
Any advice?
Last Resort Technique
File on the grounds of Cruel and Inhuman Treatment
Yeah, I am more than willing to listen to everyone's opinion and advice to consider, but I'm getting such mixed opinions and I know that it's my responsibility to sort through them. So much of this has gone against everything that I've let myself become over the years and hasn't been easy. But, I know that my passive nature and desire to please people is what got me here and it sure as hell isn't going to get me out of this. All I can do is keep absorbing everyone's advice, keep myself upright and working on the things in my life that I know need to change so that I'm a better person and stick up for myself, and get out and enjoy myself.
Now I have an email from her saying "you're in for a treat when you go home :)" god, I don't really care what it is, but I swear to god if she's broken anything. . .
I can tell from your last few words, "if she's broken anything..." that there's a recurring pattern here, she's done this before hasn't she? If you're too scared or ashamed to admit, don't be, it happens to alot of people.
If she's broken anything, this is what you will do:
1. Take photos with your phone or digital camera
2. Ask her to leave or stay but you are calling the police
3. Tell them what she did, tell them that you guys are in he process of separating and you are waiting for her to move out
4. Get a restraining order against her and let her know she now has to keep her distance
5. Get boxes and immediately help her pack
6. Get a lawyer and get all of this documented, the more the better
7. Let us know what happened
Don't ever put up with that bull$hit, breaking stuff, damaging stuff, making messes, etc. It's abuse plain & simple, it's destructive, it's a form of bullying meant to scare you into submission and you won't ever fall for that or allow her or anyone else to do this to you.
Hey CG, I think everyone is telling you pretty much the same thing just different levels of heat.
Everyone agrees you need to stand up for yourself and set some real boundaries with consequences. Some would have you ease into it and learn as you go. Others might have you come out barrels blazing. Just a matter of which you think will work for you. Either way, you have to do it if you want to change the path you are on. Either way, it is gonna kick a lot of dust.
What are the mixed opinions that are confusing you?
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
honestly, and I know that I can be honest, no, she's never actually broken anything. It was just my gut reaction considering how far she is right now from the person I knew. Like I said in my edit, I'm expecting 1 of those 3 things. And yeah, it is bullying and intimidation, and no, I'm not going to stand for it if that's what she's reduced herself to.
