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Hi Jasmine,

First I have to say I admire what you're trying to do. An MLC is not an easy thing to work your way through. I too had an MLC and when I came out of the fog, my W wasn't on board as I hoped. Please be careful, your MLC may not be over. There's still some emotional triggers that will hit from time to time. Maybe a particular movie scene which emotionally hits you a certain way. If this should happen, hang in there and stay strong. This board is here to help you.

Fixer

Hi Jasmine...Hearts Blessing also went thru her own MLC about the same time as her H. They worked things out and are still together now. She is the one that wrote the sermons on the resource link!

Thanks all. I have been reading some of HF's posts. I am trying as hard as I can to get through this. Both of us going through a MLC at the same time. The hurt feelings the hurt words the hurt attitudes. Replay as to why I left keep coming up.

Journaling:
H emailed back and asked "what are your intentions on seeing me next week?" OUCH!

Personally I was hoping he and I could talk about DR and Retrouville. I keep replaying HIS ABUSIVE attitude towards me the last 7 years of marriage though. Him never acknowledging that SOMETHING was wrong in the marriage and not taking me serious when I expressed us going to MC. Wondering if it's just time for us to call it good and both just go our separate ways.

Email first thing this morning from Mediator to call back ASAP. Call her back and we were going through the typing up of the judgment. I will have the judgment by Tuesday to review and then I have to find my own attorney to go over it.

Not going to be a good week when the attorney starts off your Sunday like this.

Jasmine,
Just a suggestion;

When you do meet up with H, treat him as you would a friend. I tried this with my H, and it worked for us. Try to keep things light and upbeat and NO R talks. Discuss what you need to. Remember zero expectations.

Celestial

So, no DR or Retrouville talk? Keep it low key and no expectations?

I need to get some things from the house and I want to keep that low key. I don't want any pressure on both sides.

Jasmine - I agree with Celestial's advice. But you have to be consistent, it may take a while before you see any positive results. And don't forget to validate.

Jas,

Where I'm confused is that you wanted your H to give you something or acknowledge anniversary, birthday, etc. Is this why you were together or apart? In your MLC, which depression is always there, did you want your H to contact you on these occasions?

I have contacted my H who I think is going through a MLC on holidays by text and would get thanks same to you. But like I mentioned before our anniversary is coming up on Mothers Day and I don't know if I should just let it go and not contact him.

The first holiday I missed was Easter, I thought to myself, NO I'm sick of being the one to wish him things first. I figure you would be the person to ask about this since you went through a MLC.

I give you so much credit for admitting to your mistakes and now trying to save your marriage and also for being here for all of us LBSs!!! You deserve the best!!!

UPATE:

I was in a mentally and verbally abusive relationship! IT STOPPED. I am a better person now. I didn't deserve it. NO ONE DOES! I did NOT have an affair till 3 months before I physically left my marriage. I mentally left my marriage 10 years ago. He deserves someone who will unconditionally love him and so do I.

Divorced June 22nd. 1 year after filing!

I TRULY wish EVERYONE the best and for happiness.