Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Time for darkness.... (thread number 3)ears open

DLS? where is your thread at? i want to read it

james217,

The stress on you can mess you up too. I know. Plus the emotional crap can really mess you up. She's gotta be the one to not want to be like that.

One thing if you are going to be up on her, is invite some "stable" long term and married couples to be around you guys.

Do it for a while, if she just doesn't want to engage with stable people in long term relationships then thats a strong sign.

Keep talking with us. Get outside a little.

dude she's heard the advice before. from married christian couples. My sister. Other people in the family. Friends. etc etc. My mother spent a long time talking to us. She was so sincere.

Her family is NOT that way there's not a single person in her immediate family who is married including her parents. Her father walked out on the family a long long time ago when he got addicted to drugs and her mother divorced him years later.

If she doesn't get the counseling change the freaking epilepsy pill back to the one she had she is going to stay like this.

She's on this I ruined your life and everyone else's life i'm so unworthy to be a mother and I should just give up but not really give up by signing away the rights to SD8 but then moving down here and letting a manipulative bitch dictate to me when were what to do with my life otherwise I can't see SD8

but what man. I'm getting frustrated and fed up. It's damn stupid

James217,

There is one positive solution that you CAN do.

If you pay the bills, move you guys way outside of her environment as you can. Like far enough that it is a pain to get over to what she knows. You don't have to force the other stuff on her. If she finds away to keep going to what she "knows" even then, you have to decide how much of it you will take.

This is all you can do. As long as she listens to advice from her side and looks in that direction you will be screwed. Plus all that drama and stress exaggerate any current health conditions.

James ~

I don't even know where to begin...I have seen you making new threads...Asking the same questions over and over again...

"Insanity - Doing the same thing over and over and
expecting different results."

You stress me out with all the questions...The answers are in all of your threads...

You have Rob here...You have Gucci here...You have Puppy here - You don't need any one else...

Stop typing...Stop talking...For God's sake stop thinking and start reading...Start listening...And start applying the amazing knowledge being shared with you...

Go into your drawer or you glove box or your tool box and find your balls...Man Up."

Stop having sex with the woman - She gave you an STD...Wrap your mind around that for a little bit...

Let her have her "You ruined my life" kick - We have all been there - Know what? It is crap and you damn well know it...

You want someone here to hold your hand and say "Now now James...Do it this way" or " Yes James you are doing wonderful"?

I won't be that person...

Your head is so far up her butt it is beyond sad...

There are people here who could truly use the help you are getting and they may be missing out because you won't listen.

Listen to Serenity. She rocks.

Lock up your daughters,
Lock up your wives,
Lock up your backdoor,
and run for your lives!
She's serenTNT,
She's dynamite!

James, find your nuts, re-inflate them and stand up for yourself.

im new to this dbing stuff. I'm really trying but it's not easy. Detaching is very very hard for me. I'm really really trying to detach.

I can recall almost dying last year. This woman was right by my side. I can recall when I first found out about my vision issues she was there. When we lost everything she was there. She was more than my wife. She was truly my best friend.

She did not purposely give me the std. She did not know she had it. She's the only one I could have gotten it from though and the guy she had a P.A with does not have it either.

She states she ruined my life not the other way around. etc etc.

I gurantee if I went to ech and every last one of the threads postedon here every single person on here went through the phase I'm going through right now.

It's not in my nature to be mean or cruel. I read my bible and it doesn't teach me to do that or to turn my back or people or to say crap like infalte your nuts.

It teaches me I should be willing to lay down my life for a friend. To love uncondtionally because love can conquer all.

It teaches me to walk in forgiveness. Anyone who needs my help? I'll try to do so.

I appreciate all of this. I believe that love conquers all. I believe that by being kind and trying to walk like Jesus did on this earth can help others. I'm not perfect at it but i'm going to try.

Im dark but if she needs me for whatever reason I'll try to help. I believing blessings come from helping others.

Serenity i'm sorry about your divorce. I think you are going through that. At least from what I read through when I looked over your sitch.

A long time ago I had a talk with my sister who is about 8 years older than me. She asked me how I could love and forgive people so easily. She asked me how I could be that way. I said I don't know. She said your spirit and heart are so kind to people. Sometimes you make mistakes and sin but your heart is always pure and in the right place.

Well I haven't changed that much over the years. I love everyone i care about uncondtionally. We all sin and fall short. but God forgives us when we ask. he never goes dark on us or turns his back on us . For that I am thankful and even when people wrong me I can't do it.

Ill see what the darkness does but I prefer to walk in the light. I'm far from perfect.

but ill be ok. I hope everyone has a nice night tonight

sorry for the typos. i'm too lazy to go edit them.

but i will pray for the entire board tonight. God can fix and restore. He is love and loves all. He forgives and we forgive.

So I hope everyone has really had a good day today. I hope it was a happy loving caring peaceful day.

Thank you for all the replies. God loves you all

God loves us all and wants to see us redeemed, I agree with that...

However, Jesus Himself overturned the tables of the money changers in the temple...unconditional love does not mean blindly accepting another person as a part of your life without expecting them to do the work to make amends for the damage they have done...

And no your W did not "Mean" to give you STDs but going outside of your relationship and sleeping with someone else then sleeping with you means, her actions are the direct cause of your STD! And if the other guy does not have it, I am sorry to say but there is probably another guy out there that she got it from, whether before or after you two got together I don't know....but it had to come from SOMEWHERE...

Nobody wants you to just give up but you need to have your eyes wide open to accept your current reality and deal with the way things ARE, not the way you wish they WERE...