Britt, I remember reading you story. Glad to hear things are going so well. It is liberating when we realie that we don't need the drama in our lives and we will be FINE with or without a spouse.
Teledad- if you want, read my post to Flowmom yesterday. Maybe it would be of some use to you perhaps?...
Last edited by june72; 04/13/1002:51 PM.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
I have no real contact with my W except for when we drop the kids off but I feel sometimes I should just tell her I need to move on in life. I will be the one to walk away now.
It's seems to be the turning point in your sitch.
Any other vets out there agree with this move?
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I believe you posted me when I first joined to board. Things have changed since then.
How would I go about stating to my W that I am moving on without putting pressure on her? I feel 8 months is awhile for limbo. no decision to commit to D or R?
Last edited by gr8 day 2B alive; 04/13/1004:32 PM.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
It sounds like you did the work and made the shift. Most of us can learn a lot from the great summary you've made of your story.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
thanks for giving us some hope. so many of us here are trying but are losing hope. i lost hope this past week. i didn't know what to do.
Quote:
When the veterans say you can't trust what they say it is 100% true. My H went on and on every day and everything was always so off from day to day, I eventually learned to ignore it. He was so confused about what he wanted that he would just say what he was feeling at that moment, or what he thought he should say at that moment, or what would just come out to get out of the moment. They don't know what they want at this point and this is a trial and error stage for them. You have to let them sail through this how they need to and in the maintime only trust in yourself
i think the toughest part for me convincing myself of this. words hurt and leave lasting scars. i'm trying to block it out and trust in myself but it hurts so much that you want to give up. being told that h is questioning his own judgement in marrying me. it hurts. trust is also an issue. the hurtful words make it very hard for me trust him. if i can't trust 100% of what he says, then what can i trust? how can two people go on without trust?
finally physically separating. the cooling off period is going to start soon. time to GAL and say 'enough'. it's time to look after myself. getting myself all worked up and angry about this. it's ruining my health. i can't wait to have my own space. my own bed. my own life. i want to be happy again. with or without him.
Best wishes!