It is very frustrating, and it's hard to wrap my brain around why she's more fixated on this person that she's known online for about two weeks than trying figure out what's really going on here. I mean, obviously she isn't totally detached from us since she wants to be in the same bed as me and asks for me to rub her back or cuddle with her.
I'm about to head to bed, but I would say, right off the top of my head, that you should:
. . .
2) If it were me, I would cut off her internet access. What is your financial arrangement in the marriage? You should refuse to pay for anything that in any way enables her online infidelities.
Puppy
Scott,
Not seeing where you ever responded to this. Who is paying for her internet access right now, that she is using to communicate with other men?
Ok, so lots to respond to. When I said she needed to think about her feelings, I was referring to her telling me last night that she had feelings for the OM. Our internet is just bundled with our cable bill, which is an autopay from our bank account, so who pays for what, really? Plus, for a while when she was holed up in the other bedroom, she was having computer problems, so she just switched to her IM on her iphone and there's no stopping that. I have my phone through work and she shares a family plan with her mom and sister. I have no real interest in keylogging. I know what is going on, it's not like she's hiding it from me or denying it. I don't feel the need to snoop anymore. Just start moving in the right direction and working on things. I guess I kinda knew that there wasn't any real meaning to her still wanting to sleep in the same bed, other than fulfilling her needs of not wanting to sleep alone.
Our internet is just bundled with our cable bill, which is an autopay from our bank account, so who pays for what, really? Plus, for a while when she was holed up in the other bedroom, she was having computer problems, so she just switched to her IM on her iphone and there's no stopping that. I have my phone through work and she shares a family plan with her mom and sister.
If you're not going to protect yourself via a keylogger (and somehow I didn't think you would), then there's no way in hell you should be allowing joint family funds to be used to enable her online sexual flings.
Just tell her she needs to set up her own account, and pay for it with her OWN money, separate from the family's funds. Then block her IP address from the home network.
Who pays for her cellphone that she shares with her mom and sister?
In fact, as long as she is wayward, it wouldn't be a bad idea for the two of you to totally separate your finances anyway. If she wants to act like she's not married to you, then she should feel more what it would be like to not have your support.
Well, I'm not really sure how I would be protecting myself by keylogging. I have thought about telling her that she needs to set up her own internet account, whether it's a data card or a new account as long as she was doing what she's doing. I guess It's time to think about it for real. Her mom pays for her phone bill. And I actually went ahead and cancelled my direct deposit at work so that it won't go into our account anymore.
