Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis MLC, H and me

SA,
The eyes give it away. Far-away look, cold, icy stare, glazed over. Your H is so lost and you can see it in his eyes.

Celestial

I will have to look at his eyes. Funny we are talking about this becuase the other day, I was at DIL's and she has a family pic of all of us taken at a family reunion in Aug 08 and H looks so happy...his eyes are really lit up! He has his arm around me...that was right before I had my masectomy surgery!

My H has a haunted look around his eyes. It's very hard for me to see.

Well guys, I saw H today but he was in and out so fast I couldn't even tell you what he was wearing...ha! He dropped off money for the house taxes (took a loan from retirement) and $100 for S14's scout camp this summer. He had called beforehand to tell me he had it and would drop it off. He borrowed the full amount for the taxes...not just his half...I had explained all that to him in a previous conversation. I don't want this to be a legal issue down the road so told him I'd take care of the house ins which would basically even us out. I will document and make sure my L knows. Also, had S14 call him to ask for half the camp money and when H called he said he was not trying to be a butt (not sure why he said that) and that he could pay the whole amount...ok, so I will let him. He dropped the stuff off where I work and other people were in there and he seemed uncomfortable...he must have been cause I told him I'd leave his mail in my car and it was still sitting there when I got in it tonight! So, nothing really..just an interaction.

HB suggested that I start journaling and start with when I think H started his MLC and do a time line...I think she is just trying to keep me busy! lol

I also decided, read it somewhere, to write down everyday all the positives that I have had happen or noticed each day! Things as simple as "the sun is out today", my client was very happy with their haircut today, I didn't get any bills in the mail today etc.

I also ordered the book the Jouney From Abandoment to Healing.

CW, it sounds like you're "letting in the good" . That's great.

The book is very intense but I hope you find it helpful.

CW journaling is a good idea...you can do it right here. I find it interesting to go back and read some of my old posts and reflect on progress or the lack of it. It's therapeutic in many ways.

It was nice of your H to pay for the camp.

It is time "to let in the good"! I am hoping the book will be a good tool for me...thanks FM!

Mila-I agree that it was nice of H to offer to pay full amount for camp. Not ready to go back and read my old threads yet...ugh!

"How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself."-Anais Nin.

Saw this and wanted to share!

Hi, CW! I just caught up on your thread.I am sorry that this is happening. You sound like you are keeping your head on straight with the L and finances though!I hope it gives you a sense of control if that helps. (At least that is what is helping me...finding control over something)

"Simple Abundance" is another great book for finding gratitude in every day life- there is a passage a day if you choose to read it (365 in all!) I have used it many a time in my life. It does help! I bet the book you ordered and are about to read will inspire you too.


Did the divorced man who was stalking you (lol) get the hint?

Do you think you are kind of happy by nature? Happy with yourself all by yourself? I get that impression. Well the wandering spouses look for their happiness in the eyes of another person. Pity.

Hey NM! So happy to have you back! I will check that book out!

It has been almost 2 wks since d man called so think he gave up!

I am not sure how to answer your question...I think I am happy by nature sometimes? I have to be happy and upbeat with my job but am not always that way! I think that part of my R issue is that I did depend on my H for my happiness and I think he did me too! I am sure that is why it took me so stinkin' long to get to where I am now!!!! I am also sure that H is looking for OW to find happiness.....