Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Running out of time.

Thought I would mention there has been a little flurry of active in my sitch this morning and afternoon.

Our mediator sent out a email to both of us requesting some documents he needs to complete our agreement. I took advantage of this opportunity to ask my W a couple of questions and provide her with information regarding taxes and selling the house. This prevent me from having to initiate a call or email directly to her on these matters.

She was cordial in the email response as was I. I did notice that she has a new email address and she has reverted back to her maiden name. Just another sign that she is continueing her house cleaning.

It stings a little bit but what the hell.

CLV, going back to her maiden name is really insensitive at this point in time and almost cruel. IMO she is trying to prove to you she is moving on and maybe even trying to hurt you. Do not give her that pleasure. Do not say a word about it to her unless there are some legal/D implications. Act "as if" you do not want her having your good name anyway.

I think I am almost pissed for you. Man, she is in her own little selfish world right now. You deserve better!!!

I think I have grown numb to her insensitivity at this point. I told a female coworker familiar with my sitch about this and she felt the same way you do.

As far as reacting to it toward my W. Not going to happen. She is not going to get the pleasure of knowing that anything she does may get to me or not.

Funny thing is she asked me about whether or not she should change her name or not at our last mediation session and I told her I didn't care either way. My co-worker firmly believes that my NC is definitely getting to her. That wasn't why I went dark but I guess it is or could be a byproduct.

Anyway, have a nice weekend and thanks for the support.

Thought I would checkin with a update following the weekend.

The kids and I enjoyed two great days of fun and adventure together. I can say without hesitation that there is one truly positive development from this disaster and that has been the incredible bond I am forming with my young twins.

Being a single father requires me to provide for their every need and that is something I simply wouldn't have to do while our marriage was intact. I'm relishing and embracing this whole heartedly. It is, however, a large and exhausting task at times but very rewarding.

We enjoyed the beautiful weather and got outside both days. I took them for a hike Saturday and to the local bouldering area on Sunday and play ground sessions both days. The Metrolink train runs right past the bouldering area and my Son loved seeing the train go through the tunnel as did my daughter to a lesser degree.

No naps on Saturday but I did get both on them down on Sunday for about an hour and a half.

As far as me I have managed to remain in a good frame of mind now for over a week, which may be a record. I have refrained from visiting my W's facebook page which represents the only opportunity for me to have any idea what is going on in her life. I feel more detached everyday and that is a blessing.

Today is her B-day and I decided to forgo getting her a card on behalf of the children. One from me was never an option. I'm not sure how the lack of a card will be received by her.

It is simply another milestone such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and Valentines day that we failed to share together for the first time in 20+ years.

I now no longer visualize what she is dong but rather what I want my future to look like and I gotta tell you that is a much prettier and healthier view.

Great attitude. I am starting to feel the same way. Financially it is going to suck for some time but I can't complain based on what I have, two great kids.

Financially I will be cooked for a while. No way around me not paying child support to the tune of about 2k per. My W chose to D me right after she lost her job. Curious timing.

I hadn't planned on posting until after the weekend but my W and I have exchanged a few emails since she extended the Easter invite.

She came around to asking me directly if I would watch the kids on the two days she was scheduled to have them but will be out of town and cannot. I agreed to cover those days.

She has since followed up with some additional parenting issues which is fine but again she felt compelled to inform me that she will be out of town this coming weekend and should I need to contact her she will be available by cell. The woman just can't contain herself and apparently must rub her OM sitches in my mug. Of course I don't know for sure that she is in fact away this weekend with OM2 but I am quite confident that is the case.

I don't give a F what she does with her free time when I have the kids and her cell phone is the only number I have or care to have.

I'm trying to understand why she feels the need to inform me of her get away plans when I haven't placed a call to her in months. It sure seems like she is twisting the knife to me. You'd think her thrist for my blood would have abated by now but I guess not.

In my case, W only tells me if I ask so I've tried to stop asking. The girls let things slip once in a while. I still don't think, in my case, there's an OM.

I'm trying not to focus on that and rather focus on getting my spending under control (GALing can run up bills), getting myself a good deal financially and then finding someone to share the kid-less nights with.

CTH, a while back you mentioned the meetup website. Very cool for those looking to GAL and do different things. Thanks.

CTH, consider yourself marginally blessed on that front as the OM issue is no fun.

Right now my Galing has mostly consisted of physical activity. That has been great for the weekends but not so great during the week. I orginally intended to workout at the Fitness Center located in the building I work at after work on the nights I don't have the kids. Unfortunately that Galing plan was shut down by my shoulder injury. That injury has improved enough now that I will be able to get after it starting this Wedesnday.

The other Galing road block is the fact that I completely shut down my alcohol consumption since the bomb, it's been over 160 days since I had drink.

As a result I haven't done much on my free nights as most of the things I would likely be interested in doing (sporting events, dinners etc.) would involve a drink or two. That reality has also stunted my desire to start dating. I might need to break free of these chains and start mixing it up.