She has a "legit" job now....she married in the church....
that's nice.
But it doesn't seem like she lives within the tenents of said church. And it certainly does not make up for the fact that she still gravitates toward icky men.
I am very afraid for your little boy and believe that you need to get him away from her. There are plenty of good women out there who do not have "daddy issues" and your son deserves to have one of those for a mom.
so I've been doing the 180 thing and I don't really start conversations so lately she'll occasionally say things to me that are just conversational, she still makes dinner...but sort of yelled at me on IM at work the other day telling me "THAT is why I'm DONE....GET IT"....
I went to talk to a priest today and he pretty much told me if we have not been intimate in a very long time and she was making no attempt to work on the marriage with me that it's bad for the kids to be around her continued anger. He said that anger in the house is as bad as physical abuse. My 3 year old said to me "mommy doesn't like daddy" about a week ago, so the kids are aware that bad stuff is going on. So now I've got my parents telling me to leave and even priests are in on it.
What I'm trying to figure out is..if I'm doing the 180 and she never talks, what is the point? it's really just exposing and validating that there is no marriage left. She has refused therapy and retrouvaille so do I stay patient or just go ahead and end this thing?
the wife will show small flashes of attempting to get along but then will revert back to this smoldering anger. I finally couldn't take it any more tonight and told her that living with her is miserable, that she's a miserable person and that I think it's pathetic that she can't get over herself enough to at least put up a good front for our 3 year old....I'm guessing this is verbal abuse? I really don't care anymore. I spoke with my dad and he said what she's been doing for about a year now is abusive...but women never get called on the carpet for threatening divorce constantly.
I'm really torn here, part of me can't wait to file for a divorce from this miserable person, and the other half still has hope somehow
I believe when a spouse constantly threatens D that is using it as some kind of tool to bully in getting what they want. "You better shape up and do as I say or I will file for a D"....or something similar. IMO, the best way to end that sort of stuff is to call their bluff.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
so once again we rode to work together...when I follow the 180...I don't initiate conversation...if I don't initiate..there is dead silence on our 25 minute ride to work.
