my relationship with my parents was pretty normal. i was never close to my dad. i went through the rebellion years during high school. after that, my mom and i became close. i've always been tight with my siblings. in fact, when the d-bomb was dropped, they called me every day to see how i was coping. when i hurt or cry, they hurt as well. it brought us even closer together. my parents have always taken a hands off approach to their adult childrens' lives. they taught us life skills and it's our job to learn how to use them. i think i've always been a nurturer which is probably where the co-dependency comes from. h doesn't have many friends. he always turned to his parents. what changes i would want to see in him? i'd like to hear him say that he is a husband first and a son second. if i knew that was how he felt and he actually followed through on that, then i wouldn't feel as if i was hired help. i'd feel like a real/equal partner in our m. cuz right now, i don't feel like an equal partner. i feel like my ILs have a bigger say than i do. and that's what hurts the most.
i feel the same way. i can do 180s, go dark and it wouldn't change a thing. he has already chosen his parents over me. i think my h chose them because he felt guilty guilty because he can't always be there for them. they are constantly telling them "oh poor me" type stories that it makes him want to help them. as they age, more health problems arise, the more "oh poor me" stories are told. it just snowballs to the point where he feels that they are running out of time and so he needs to put them first and foremost. i can't compete with that because i'm young and vibrant. i'm not dying.
My h had an affair 3 yrs ago and we were separated for 1 yr, he ended th a and came back home. We were back together for the past 2 yrs but I found out he was seeing the ow again and i told him to leave. he is living at his mothers and she loves it because she is very codependent and her husband just died 4 mos. ago. They're relationship is very dysfunctional his mother never let him go she would call him 3 times a day. it was like they were married to each other. she would'nt let him move more than 2 miles away from her.
I am so sad that he is gone again. We have been together for 30 yrs. and we have a 16 yr old son. I feel like im competing with 2 woman now for him. I am trying not to call him or show any anger. I dont have any support system either. My family all turned against me. If I didnt have God and my son I would have no one.
