On the mail subject, I would take it to the post office and tell them this is not the correct address and let them advise you of what to do. Let it be their problem.
On the "getting things" subject, I totally get not wanting to deal with it. It makes things much more real. As long as you have stuff there, you can kind of pretend that it's not so bad, maybe it's not going to happen. But, it will help you feel more empowered to get a friend and just get it over with. Maybe it would be good to set a goal of when to call and arrange the day making sure that he's not going to be home. Then, take a friend to help.
Thank you. Yes, keeping busy, any thoughts on the sitch fill me with spite.
He e-mailed me how it's important he gets his mail and he's happy to *list of options how to get his mail* none of which fit into criteria of what works for me (which I told him before). I replied why would I do that now, I have already made favours for him.
He's making it difficult for me to get my things from the house, but he expects me to go out of my way to deliver his mail. Why exactly? I told you I am becoming spiteful.
I have "I wish he was dead" moment. Is it really bad? It would have been much easier this way. I want everything sorted out already, but it's impossible to arrange anything with him. Fine, I can get even in court. How hard is it not to be an ass? He even barricaded my car with iron bars to make sure I won't be able to take it without him.
How do you shift your perspective from being angry? I know there are many things in my life to be thankful for and that make my life exciting, but when there are things I need to get done like taxes, insurance and moving stuff that require cooperation from H and he's not willing to cooperate I get angry.
There must be a way to get everything arranged, but when I'm angry I can't think clear.
That's why we have the 24/48 hour rule to prevent you from making irrational actions and ensure you're in a clear state of mind.
Originally Posted By: Wholeagain
I have "I wish he was dead" moment. Is it really bad?
It's only bad if you take steps to accomplish that... I sympathize with you on that.
Originally Posted By: Wholeagain
It would have been much easier this way. I want everything sorted out already, but it's impossible to arrange anything with him.
Would it be possible to get a neutral 3rd party involved to help?
Originally Posted By: Wholeagain
How hard is it not to be an ass? He even barricaded my car with iron bars to make sure I won't be able to take it without him.
I'm sorry he's being such a jerk. If this continues perhaps you could politely go to the police and ask them for assistance with this. Tell them you need to go pick up your things from your STBX's house and you're scared. Ask them if a police officer could go with you.
Sure he'll be pissed... but he won't try anything with a police officer there. Make sure you go when you know he will be home. Have your legal ownership papers of the vehicle with you so he cannot dispute ownership.
I hope this nightmare ends for you soon.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
I suppose when I will be able to not react to him being difficult, I will press him to give me options and go with them, and I should be able to get everything done.
Ironically, when I was in that state of mind he would not reply to me for weeks.
I think I want to make sense of the sitch, was he like that all the way through, was I so oblivious? If not, then why? It's hurtful to know you were not important at all, only convenient.
I took the car in December. I had to arrange time with him to pick it up. He and his friends were there, and the car was blocked off, so he made sure I wouldn't be able to take it without him being there.
I need to not let things get to me, then I will be able to arrange something on his terms. I don't have a neutral party.
I talked to police back in October. I need to arrange a time with H, and then they can do a stand-by (their car on the side of the road) for 15 minutes.
There's no way around me having to arrange something with him, so I need to suck it up and not react to his BS or let him have it.
