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Thanks for the kind words, thegoodfight. The paragraph above is an interesting view in light of the fact that my wife has said if she came back she could absolutely see this happening again. I would hope this would not be the case, since if she came back it may be because she's taking her faith seriously, and would continue to do so.

Journaling:

W was quiet and seemed down when she was over to get the kids yesterday. Almost like she wasn't very excited about the weekend.

I just let her be and carried on in a cheerful mood.

I'm in good spirits about all this, not because the situation is getting any better, but because I think I've finally arrived at my plan of operation from here on out, and I am comfortable with it. The plan is simple and may sound a bit macabre, but it works for me: operate as if my wife has passed away, and the woman I am dealing with for kids and family business is just some woman helping out. Stay out of God's way, go on with building a new life for me and my kids, and leave any attempts at reconciliation up to my W. If she wants me, she's going to have to win me back. And she'll have to do that by doing the things that any woman who is interested in me would do.

If I was dating, I certainly would not be interested in someone who didn't give me the time of day and was also dating other men, regardless if I was attracted to them or not. I wouldn't be pursuing them since they would be making it obvious that they are not serious about me.

It seems like common sense when you stop viewing your wife as your spouse and start viewing her as just another woman in the "dating pool" and holding her to the same standards.

Whatever works. For me, I thought of my W as the crazy, homeless bag lady that you see on the street corner muttering nonsense. It helped to deal when she was saying things that didn't make sense.

LMAO!

Puppy

I think your perspective is very healthy and would be exactly they way the Good Lord would look at it. I think this applies to any romantic relationship, marriage or engagement. "Never chase women or busses because more often than not they both will leave you in the dust." Keep up the PMA and all will work out as it is suppose too!.

It sounds like you're in a good frame of mind. Keep it up and stay strong! I do remember you in my prayers.

Journaling:

W just spent over $500 on a bed for her apartment. She's a very frugal woman, so this is just another signal that she's not considering reconciliation.

Today I met with a friend who recently divorced to do some fact finding and get the name of the lawyer he used.

Pigskin,

Let me just share this, since I know it can and will happen, when God wakes her up out of her fog, things will not be pretty for her. I just pray for everybody's sake that she wakes up before you are gone. The Good Lord does not give us more than we can handle and always gives us a way out of the wilderness. Pray for strength and composure, try not pay any attention to the little things like that (buying a bed).

She is completely lost and is just operating off of survival instinct. Protect the finances as best as you can for you and the kids. Let the "Almighty" deal with her in his way, he has a funny way of letting us know what we should do. If you are anxious or overwhelmed with emotions at times it is understandable. Do nothing except get through the emotional phase.

They are the enemy at this point, just find peace and keep as busy as you can. Try not to think about it, easier said than done, but trust, have faith, and know God is working his plan and will get you through this difficult time. In times of "storms" in life I find some peace and comfort in Psalms, Proverbs, and the Gospel. If you need something else, ask for it and thank and praise him knowing it will be done for you.

Of course the caveat to that is God is never late, but he is never early either. It is all in his perfect timing. He has a reason why he just doesn't fix it. I don't understand it but I assure you the teachings in this time are beneficial. I would guess he wants a closer relationship with you, like a parent to their child and since your wife made her choice "free will" he is going to take this time to tell you something. I recommend some books by Joyce Meyer or John Eldredge to read when you run out of things to do. Both write good stuff and it isn't too difficult to follow.

Hang in there, this storm will pass.

Wow. Thanks again, thegoodfight. I think you have a gift. You certainly have some gems of wisdom. I love "God is never late, but he is never early either". And one huge benefit of all this mess is that I now have a much closer relationship with God. I was just lukewarm before, and didn't realize it.

I trust God. But I don't trust my wife to ever really listen to Him. I was looking into some lawyer info just to be prepared.

Journaling about some interesting "messages":

Went out with a couple of friends last night, one of which was a girl I had some attraction to that I've written about before, and her sister. As I mentioned earlier, we've known each other a long time and she is divorced. I had always sensed she had a little bit of a "thing" for me. But I spent most of the night talking with the sister, as there were a few other male friends that the other woman ran into and she spent most of her time talking with them.

I found myself feeling less attracted to her, and almost trying to "force" some attraction that I wasn't feeling in my heart. I kept thinking how dumb that was. Perhaps it's a sign that this is not something that I should be engaging in.

An interesting side note to this is that I considered asking her if she'd like to go to the zoo and hang out. Today my W stopped by to pick up some things and said she was taking the kids to the zoo! Not something we do a lot, so it struck me that what a horrible thing it would have been to have my kids run into me at the zoo with some other woman.

Maybe it could have served as a nice 2x4 to my W's head, but I would have hated to have my kids see that. Take from this what you want, but I think sometimes God does deliver messages in quite obvious ways as to what he wants you to do when he sees you straying from the path.

Divorce may be inevitable for us, but right now I still get the message that it's not time to move on to other women just yet. It makes sense, too, as I don't feel I am ready to enter in to another relationship. I would want to feel "right" about it, and not just have a "rebound" to satisfy my need for female companionship. I can go out and have fun, but guard my heart. When and if the time comes, I think God will let it be known to me.

Right now I feel comfortably detached and patient.